This article was a submission from Haylee Emch who runs her own long distance relationship blog. Find her on Instagram at @hayhayre. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I have dedicated my personal blog to sharing ways to cope with being in a long-distance relationship. However, what is a long-distance relationship at its core?
A simple Google search provides many definitions of what a long-distance relationship (LDR) entails. Many of them focused on geographical distance, while others emphasized communication aspects. From the varying definitions, I have composed my own understanding.
I do not think any relationship is comparable to another. It does not matter if a couple is separated for a week or a year, or if they are 100 miles apart or 1,000. An LDR is not dependent on physical factors but rather the idea of existing without your person in everyday life.
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How am I qualified to create the broadest definition of this style of relationship? My partner and I have been conquering long-distance since August 2019. We are getting married on Nov. 27 but still have to endure many more months of this relationship style. We have been 350 to 6,950 miles apart during the past two years, and it will probably grow. We have been in the same time zone to existing 10 hours apart. We have had zero communication for months and had other times when we would talk multiple times a day. I have been through it all. Hence why I never judge anyone’s journey and believe just about anything can be considered an LDR.
Diving deeper, there are many stigmas about these types of relationships and their effectiveness. According to this research article, a 2018 study showed that 60% of LDRs seem to last, and the percentage is growing. The study also shows how the evolution of the internet has supported this relationship style and allows for easier access to communication for couples. With the way the world is currently turning, more and more people will have to face and understand these relationships, but the success has never been higher.
I am in no way a relationship expert. However, I will share some of the values me and my partner have prioritized that aided our growing relationship. From my experience, the following provides the key to surviving an LDR. Here’s some advice for long distance relationships.
If this is going to work, love has to conquer all. If your heart is not yearning for each other at all hours of the day, or all they can think about is embracing each other, then what is the point? An LDR will show a couple whether they love each other enough to be patient. I will not lie, it is hard, but if the partners can make it through separation, they can do anything.
This is probably the key to making these relationships work. An LDR removes the physical, so partners have to connect emotionally through communication. Trust me, it is hard to mind-read over FaceTime, so you’ll need to be honest with your partner and dive deeper rather than continually asking how their day was.
As it is evident, trust is prominent to keep a connection. You cannot live your life if you are constantly worried about what your other half is doing. You’ll have to learn to live for yourself and believe in the strength of your partner.
The best things are the things we work hardest for. The relationship should be worth the work, and it does take work. It is embracing both partners’ strengths and choosing to continue pushing every day that makes a relationship strong.
As hard as it may be, always try to make things fun by being creative. Whether that is playing would you rather or watching a movie over screen sharing, try to continually do things with your partner to keep progressing. A couple can remind themselves why they chose to enjoy life together by keeping things interesting with laughter and joy.
There are probably a million other things contributing to how LDRs work, but I think combining the above points is a recipe for success. These aspects support the relationship and are the fundamental understandings for making one accessible.
If I had to emphasize one thing, it would be that an LDR is not bad. Because people are separated from each other does not mean that it is the end. An LDR is a remarkable time where partners can both experience life as an individual and a couple. This relationship makes room for growth in every aspect and forces a couple to discover both themselves and each other.
An LDR can be a beautiful thing. Is it always a first choice? Probably not. But do not let the negativity of the word define the relationship.
We hope this advice for long distance relationships helps you! Share your LDR journey in the comment section below!