Pop Culture, Televison

You Can’t Hate Rory And Love Lorelai! You Have To Love Them Both! Here’s Why!

hate rory

I’ve been a Gilmore Girls fan since I can remember. I have clear visions of my mom watching the reruns on Tv when I was younger, and I was always tuning along. When the series hit Netflix, my mom and I binged the show, and since then, I’ve rewatched it so many times. To my surprise, I’m not the only avid Gilmore Girls watcher. The fanbase is alive and well. And I was also pretty surprised when I realized how many fans had differing views than I did. Particularly (or at least for today), I want to talk about all of the people who hate Rory’s character. While I’m not the biggest Rory fan in the universe, I do respect her character and I don’t agree with any of the hate she gets online. Today, I’m going to take a peek at all of the reasons people hate Rory and show how our beloved Lorelai set her up for her future. Almost every reason people hate Rory can be directly correlated to her upbringing. You can’t hate Rory and love Lorelai, you have to love them both! I love both of these characters so much, but they’re flawed, just like the rest of us! Let’s dive in because I’m tired of having this argument.

“She doesn’t realize how privileged she is”

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RIGHT. This statement is correct! And this is actually a really important part of Rory’s character arc, especially when she meets Logan. This statement always makes me laugh because, yes, it is completely true, but it’s no reason to hate her character. In fact, Logan points out to her that she’s almost the same as him. She has a trust fund, she has grandparents who are funding her YALE college expenses, and she’s just as privileged as all of the people she looks down on. But, I would also like to point out why Rory doesn’t realize how privileged she is. From the time she was born, Lorelai headed out to raise her on her own, without the help of her parents. From then on, Lorelai was a single mother working hard to make ends meet, never accepting any help from her wealthy parents. But… it does make me raise an eyebrow when Lorelai goes on about how they aren’t well off while they order takeout almost every single night. Even after Lorelai accepts help from the Gilmores, she is still walking the “I’m a poor single mother” facade. Rory has seen her mother busting her butt so they could live the way they do and is suddenly in a very new environment. One in which, even she is privileged and rich. Makes a little sense to me… and makes for even better learning moments.

“She helped Dean cheat on Lindsey”

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While I don’t condone cheating or excuse what Rory (or Dean) did, I do have to point out that she learned by example. And no, fine, you can say that Lorelai never *technically* cheated on anyone she was with, but there were a lot of blurred lines. Let’s start with Christopher and Sherry, a pretty similar situation to Dean and Lindsey. Christopher assured Lorelai that his relationship with Sherry was winding down and then they slept together – sound familiar? Does anybody else remember Lorelai criticizing Rory for not being sure if Dean was actually moving out or moving on from his marriage? Kinda funny when you look back at Lorelai immediately believing Chris and hopping into bed with him, only for him to find out Sherry was pregnant the next day. I guess she wasn’t very sure, but Rory had to be?

That’s not the only time Lorelai has participated in cheating. After giving Luke an ultimatum, she also runs back to Chris without even officially closing the door on her relationship. Both of the Gilmore Girls are serial cheaters, but you can’t only hate one of them for it.

“She can’t handle any negative criticism”

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This is one of my favorite plotlines in Gilmore Girls and in A Year In The Life. I know, I know, so many people hate what they did to Rory’s character but I love it. From a writing perspective, or just from a real-life view perspective, people break sometimes. This is a typical case of the “gifted kid” scenario. Her entire life, Rory has been seen as a perfect, smart, angel. She’s never done anything wrong, and Lorelai flaunts to everyone in town how perfect her child is. She doesn’t make mistakes, and beyond that, she’s so smart that she’s going to go to an Ivy League school. This was a dream “they” had since Rory was tiny. And I’m not saying Rory isn’t smart, but having that much pressure put on you for so long will break you eventually. After a lifetime of getting everything she wants, a single no or any piece of negative criticism kills her spirit. This was shown perfectly when Mitchum Huntzberger tells Rory she doesn’t have it. It’s funny, because all of the statements I’m defending are actually true, but they make for an amazingly written character, not one you should hate.

“She’s immature”

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Right. But Lorelai isn’t? She’s modeled after her mother. The only reason people hate Rory and love Lorelai is that Lorelai has social skills. They share all of the same negative attributes but Rory is more shy and awkward. If she was outgoing, bubbly and as funny as her mother, she’d be just as beloved. They’re both immature. That’s the whole point of the show!

“She’s a bad friend”

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She is. She’s an awful friend to Lane, Paris, hell, even Marty. But once again, so is Lorelai. What about how Sookie made Lorelai an entire wedding cake before she decided to call off the Max wedding last minute? Or how she said she’d help Luke paint the diner but instead was busy having sex with Chris after a terrible Friday night dinner? They are both horribly self-centered sometimes and are awful to their friends! But you CAN’T hate Rory and love Lorelai! You can’t. You have to love them both. Case closed.

Do you hate Rory but love Lorelai? Why? How? Let’s argue in the comment section below!

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