Why You Need to Prioritize Self Care During Wedding Planning
by Megan Pavek
This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Megan Pavek. Find her on Instagram at @megan.pavek. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Future brides and grooms dream of the perfect proposal and wedding day but are often unaware of what happens between these two momentous occasions. Many hurdles are awaiting you once that ring is placed on your finger. Suddenly, you are thrust into a world of caterers, cutlery, and color schemes. Harrowing logistics keep you up at night along with a sparkling array of unlimited options and purchases plaguing your credit cards.
Who would have thought that planning a celebration of love – what’s meant to be the happiest day of your life – could cause so much stress? Wedding planning stress can be debilitating to some brides, which is why it’s so important to prioritize self care throughout the months and days leading up to your big day.
Normalizing Pre-Wedding Depression
Did you know that there are literally wedding therapists? Yes – you heard that correctly. The entire wedding experience can be so stress-prone and anxiety-inducing that it has become a specialization for therapists. On that note, clinical psychologist Mario Anghinolfi wants you to know that it’s 100% normal to feel depressed in the days leading up to your wedding.
In an article published by Hitch, the psychologist explains that these feelings typically do not stem from doubt, but from being overwhelmed at how much work it takes to plan the event itself. It’s critical to express these emotions, but brides can struggle due to feelings of guilt. There’s so much pressure for this to be the happiest time of your life so it feels wrong to admit otherwise.
Meanwhile, couples have shared a number of negative things about wedding planning that they weren’t prepared for, such as:
- Budget stress
- Feeling isolated
- Drowning in never-ending to-do lists
- Having to lower expectations daily
- Late night DIYs
- Budget cuts in daily life
- Tension with partner, friends and family
- The impossible task of trying to please everyone
Navigating a New Life Transition
Getting caught up in a whirlwind of wedding planning may cause you to forget that this is also a transition that requires additional attention. Your life is about to change dramatically, and it’s critical to reflect, make preparations, set boundaries and have important conversations with your soon-to-be spouse.
Like other transitional periods in our lives, an identity crisis or a sense of loss as one era ends and another begins will typically surface. Wedding therapist Landis Bejar reminds us that engaged couples are navigating these conflicting feelings during a time when “all eyes are on you” and expectations are high. Mix in financial pressure and difficult family dynamics, and you can see how easy it is to feel stressed and overwhelmed!
Self Care Tips
To all past, current and future couples planning weddings: your feelings are 100% valid! According to an article published by Brides, “80% of couples said pre-planning stress caused breakouts, reduced sex drive, headaches, changes in appetite, and even hair loss.” Practice the following self care tips to avoid the negative effects of wedding planning stress:
- Prioritize what matters most to you and your partner. Whether that’s the venue, caterer, destination or reception- it’s important to communicate well with one another. Setting your priorities straight will lay the groundwork for organized and efficient planning.
- Before bed, try journaling to stop those thoughts from ruminating in your head! Anything from last minute to-do lists, or a disagreement that may be weighing on you, write it down and leave it there so you can continue on to a good night’s sleep.
- Physical self care is essential, such as facials, massages, exercise, staying fully hydrated and eating well.
- Know when to take a break from wedding planning so that it doesn’t consume you. Be intentional about setting aside time to relax with your partner or go out on a date.
- Don’t lose perspective of what truly matters. While your wedding is an important day, it’s only one day of your life, and there will be plenty of other important days to follow and look forward to! Refrain from putting so much pressure on yourself, and remember that if something goes wrong it’s likely that your guests won’t even know or notice.
- Above all else, this is you and your partner’s day to celebrate your love and commitment for one another! Prioritize each other’s happiness and do what will bring you both the most joy. Maintaining a positive attitude throughout your wedding will set the tone for the entire day, and your guests will feel it too!
Have you had any experiences with wedding planning stress? Let us know in the comments below!