This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s fall editorial intern Jess Newman. Find her on Instagram at @_jess_n_. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Do you spend any time and energy wishing people would act differently? Do you let what they’re doing bother you? If you do, you’re robbing yourself of true inner peace. We are constantly told that we shouldn’t care what people think, but it’s easier said than done. Mel Robbin’s “Let Them” theory enforces this sentiment to help you take control of your life.
What’s the “Let Them” Theory?
The “Let Them” theory is as simple as it sounds. If your friends want to go out to dinner and not invite you, let them. If your significant other wants to mess around and cheat, let them. If your boss wants to choose another less qualified person for a promotion, let them. This theory helps you conserve your energy so you can focus on things that really matter. It also helps you see others’ true character. Once you step out of the way and stop trying to force people to act differently, you can then see what their true intentions are. The Let Them theory helps you take back your power which in turn helps you control your emotions better. This helps you conserve energy and be happier overall. Stop wasting your precious time on those who aren’t prioritizing you and bringing you extra stress. Let the “Let Them” theory guide you to what is meant for you.
Who invented the “Let Them” theory?
Mel Robbins is the inventor of the “Let Them” theory as well as the “5 Second Rule” and the “High 5 Habit”. According to Leaders, Mel Robbins first pursued a career as a criminal defense attorney and this job helped her become a legal analyst at CNN. She said, “Being a lawyer taught me how to be a bold speaker, and it taught me how to look at arguments from both sides, which gives me a broader perspective on almost any topic.” From there she started her own business as a life coach where she helps others. Funny enough, this was a suggestion from her own personal life coach. Her first book was published in 2012 after her TedTalk blew up in 2011. Her specialty is empowering others to take control of their lives.
The reasoning behind the “Let Them” theory
When Mel Robbins was asked about her reasoning behind the “Let Them” theory she said, “The fastest way to take control of your life is to stop controlling everyone around you.” She then goes on to say that we have no idea the copious amount of energy we are burning through worrying about what other people are doing, not doing and feeling. It’s wasting our energy for no reason because, at the end of the day, we have zero control over any of it. Mel goes on to explain that it all boils down to our attachment styles. Once we get our “energetic hooks” into other people we are handing over control to them. By saying “Let Them” we are taking our control back by “acknowledging the situation and you’re almost saying I’m above it and I’m permitting this.”
There are so many things in this life we have no control over. The “Let Them” theory allows you to take a little bit of control back. This then empowers you and energizes you to chase your dreams. You can’t control what others do, but you can control how you react to them. There are so many energy-sucking tasks in the day, preserve your energy and protect your peace.
Have you heard of the let them theory? Are you going to give it a try?
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