This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Fainite Auguste. Find her on Instagram at @ceilingdancing. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
In the early 2000s, people took relationship tests from magazines to see their compatibility with a crush or partner. The answer to a compatibility test stayed private, especially when it was negative. It would be quickly forgotten, the magazine tucked away underneath a bed. Now in the parasocial age of the internet, people have moved on to recording their partner and posting it to TikTok. The question arises, is testing your partner toxic?
How do These Trends Begin?
It feels like every month a new slew of videos floods my FYP that follows the same formula. It’s usually domestic involving groceries or chores. However; one of the partners, usually the boyfriend, weaponizes their incompetence. This leads the girlfriends to turn to TikTok to discuss the situation. As people continue to spread the story around, then videos pop up testing their partners relating to that particular situation.
What is Weaponized Incompetence?
It’s when someone refuses to learn or perform tasks, forcing someone else to do the work. When someone weaponizes their incompetence, the relationship slowly tilts to one side, forming an imbalance. I’m sure you’ve seen about a hundred videos of women stating that their husbands do not know how to cook, clean, buy groceries, or even care for their children. For far too long, men were not required to know basic life skills because society said that a woman would do it for them.
The Ketchup Thing
Girls are propping up their phones and squirting ketchup onto the kitchen counter to see how their boyfriends will clean it up. An overwhelming amount of guys couldn’t clean it up properly. They get frustrated, unable to process how to clean up a spill. It’s very frustrating how many young men have never cleaned up after themselves.
Orange Peel Theory
The orange peel theory is the belief that if someone truly loves you they will peel an orange for you. There are many positive outcomes, with boyfriends saying “of course” when their girlfriends ask them to peel it. However, there are videos of guys telling their girlfriends no, even going as far as to lecture them about laziness. It’s hard to watch these kinds of videos, the harshness hits the viewer like a bag of bricks.
This is one of the trends that I agree with. I’m a big believer in acts of service, especially the small ones. Turning off the light for your partner when they’re already in bed, remembering their favorite snacks, or buying them flowers just because you wanted to. It shows kindness and a deep understanding of a person, but it also reminds someone that you still like them.
Pumpkins and Nachos
Around Thanksgiving, a video went viral of a man complaining that his wife asked him to go pick up ingredients for pumpkin bars. He couldn’t remember if they had a can of pumpkins; and didn’t want to buy another if they did. The man called his wife twice, but she didn’t answer so he decided to not buy the canned pumpkins. Of course, he took to TikTok to ask what other people would do in this situation.
Overwhelmingly, everyone said he should’ve bought the can of pumpkins anyway because his wife asked for all of the ingredients to make the pumpkin bars. A woman stitched his video and used nachos as an example; stating that you need tortilla chips to make nachos. So then people naturally began to ask their partners if they would buy tortilla chips if they were told to buy ingredients for nachos.
So is Testing Your Partner Toxic?
The answer is no; it is ok to every once in a while to make sure that you chose the correct person. The issue arises when it’s recorded without their knowledge and posted online for a laugh and views. If you’re worried about or need reassurance that should be between you and your partner first and foremost. Trends are fun, but remember why you’re doing it.
So, is testing your partner toxic? What do you think about the constant TikTok testing?
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