This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s summer editorial intern Dylan Fraize. Find him on Instagram at @fraize.jpg. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
From the dorm room to the dashboard, life moves too fast. Everyone tells you to enjoy it while it lasts but you never know you’re in the moment until it’s a memory. Most people start college at 18 and spend the next 4 years in a community maturing and intertwining their lives together. From roommates to teammates or neighbors, college brings people from all walks of life onto one campus. How do you keep in contact with friends after crossing the stage?
Post-Grad Slump
After leaving college it’s common to feel distraught. Regardless of what job you landed or the city you moved to. You’re leaving behind a place that was a major part of your journey. A place that saw you go from being lost or inexperienced, to the new you that’s mature and well-spoken. Post-grad life comes with a whole new wave of stressors.
Of people surveyed by GCU, the main stressor for college graduates was a successful career. Understandably so, after dedicating so much time and effort it’s inevitable you’d want something to show for it. Leaving college also affects your schedule and routine. Humans thrive on routines so such a big change can affect your mental health. In an uncertain world, graduates are also facing financial uncertainty. For many graduates, this could be their first time being responsible for so many bills. As economies ebb and flow so does financial stability.
All these factors culminate into something much more physical: stress! The emotional rollercoaster from excitement at the graduation ceremony to the first bill taken out of your account. Graduation creates a perfect storm of ups and downs that can seriously affect someone’s psyche.
The friends you make through college are the ones who see you through your good days and bad. They saw you study for finals, pull all-nighters, pick an outfit for the night, mornings at the dining hall, etc… They are the friends you leaned on when college got overwhelming and the ones that you helped when they needed you. They were your support system in a community filled with students. Thus built a connection over time that feels almost cruel to move away from.
Growing through school together making memories and inside jokes. It’s almost as if they speak the same language as you. People who share your opinions and remember the little things about you that other people may not know. Above all else, it’s about being comfortable with someone and always on the same page.
Staying in touch after graduation is a way to reminisce and share experiences. As previously highlighted some of the most common stressors for post-graduates are the job hunt and financial uncertainty. Your friends are going through the same things, and it’s always reassuring to talk to people going through the same thing whether that conversation ends with advice or just a weight off your chest.
How To Keep In Contact
While you understand the importance of keeping in contact with friends what are the logistics? Starting your new job and moving to a new city or back home makes your schedule extremely tight. If you truly value the friendship find days that work for the both of you. For example, each month sharing a screenshot of each other’s calendars and planning a day. That day could include meeting up or even just a Facetime or call. Now some are close enough to meet in the middle others are separated by hundreds of miles.
Geography is a hindrance for recent grads although we live in a time with a solution: technology. Giving humans access to each other across borders both international and statewide. Having the ability to call or Facetime is a luxury afforded to us by technology. Not only can you talk directly you can interact on any of the various social media platforms. Either send a post that makes you laugh or reminds you of them. If you get bored of calls or Facetime there are so many simple ways to spice things up. Having dinner together, watching a series together, or playing video games.
A dynamic that’s always tough to leave is the group aspect of college. If your schedules don’t all align at least you can have a group chat everyone can chime into. It may not be the same as all walking to the dining hall together cracking jokes but it’s still the same people behind the phone.
A luxury that may only be possible for some is visiting. If someone makes the journey to start a new life elsewhere, it’s important to support them as tough as it may be to see them go. Planning out a vacation to visit can be something that sticks with you forever. Reliving those days together in a new landscape. Another plus is having a personal tour guide along for the travel.
The Hard Truth
While trying to balance creating your new life with old friends some feelings may get hurt. A big part of leaving college is accepting that change. You may not do it intentionally but someone may feel like you forgot them. That’s all a part of growing up. If you wait stagnantly hoping to catch up on old times you’ll never progress past college. Cherish the memories you made but don’t try and relive them every day.
Setting up boundaries is a necessary step for growth. While you still love your friends as much as you did in college you need space. Space to reinvent yourself or just savor the moment. Just think how good it feels to have that diploma on the wall with your name.
Accept the new people in your life. If you’re moving abroad or back home embrace what’s new. You’ll never find the friends you made at university again but that’s what makes new friends all that more special. You’ve got the opportunity to grow into a world you made yourself.
What do you think? Have you had a tough time post-grad? How do you keep in contact with friends? Do you have any tips? Let us know in the comments below!
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