This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s senior fall editorial intern Lauren Sanchez. Find her on Instagram at @lauren.sanchezz. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
It seems like every other week, the internet latches onto a new buzzword to dissect the ups and downs of modern love. From decoding green and red flags to navigating situationships and the dreaded ghosting, we’re constantly coining terms to describe the chaos and messiness that come with dating. The latest term making the rounds? Introducing micro-cheating.
If you’ve never heard of it, don’t worry—it’s the latest concept that’s leaving people questioning what really counts as crossing the line in love. So without further ado, let’s deep dive into this new term sparking conversations — and maybe a little suspicion — in relationships everywhere!
What is Micro-cheating?
According to Psychology Today, micro-cheating is defined as “small breaches of trust in a relationship that don’t cross into a physical affair.” Think about leaving your wedding ring at home before heading out solo or browsing dating apps and swiping right on Tinder while in a relationship. In a broader sense, micro-cheating includes any kind of behaviors that make someone question their partner’s emotional or physical commitment to the relationship.
So how is it different from just… cheating?
Cheating and micro-cheating may both serve up betrayal, but they’re not quite on the same level. While cheating can involve anywhere between your partner sleeping with someone else or going on dates with someone other than yourself, micro-cheating blurs the boundaries between commitment and full-on cheating. It can be anywhere from casual flirting on social media, liking someone else’s pictures on Instagram or even calling your coworker your “work spouse”. It’s less about a scandalous rendezvous and more about those tiny slips that make you raise an eyebrow.
What Are Some Signs of Micro-Cheating?
We mentioned a few examples above of micro-cheating, but countless other scenarios could be considered micro-cheating as well.
Flirting on Social Media: While a like or comment may seem harmless at first, taking the time to like or comment on a post can sometimes feel more than just friendly. Whether it’s liking a photo of an attractive model or commenting on a post that pictures your ex, this kind of attention can create some kind of emotional connection with someone outside the relationship and can often lead to feelings of insecurity or betrayal for your partner.
Using Dating Apps: There is no harm in browsing on dating apps… but only if you’re single! Even if you’re not actively looking to date (sometimes I consider going on dating apps to be like window-shopping), it can still be seen as a kind of micro-cheating. Swiping right on others who might be looking to date even if you’re not can still signal a lack of commitment or dissatisfaction with your current relationship.
Hiding Conversations From Your Partner: While it’s acceptable (and encouraged!) to have friends and people to talk to outside of your relationship if you often find yourself deleting messages or hiding interactions with certain individuals from your partner, you probably shouldn’t be interacting with said individual and is a major red flag. This kind of behavior shows that you are aware that your actions might not be filled with good intentions and can compromise any trust in your relationship.
Subtle Physical Contact: Engaging in casual but intimate physical gestures with someone outside your relationship can be considered micro-cheating. Lingering hugs, playful touches on the arm or holding their hand (even in a friendly way) may seem friendly and innocent, but they can convey a certain emotional intimacy that should be reserved for your partner and suggest a level of closeness that complicates boundaries.
Reaching Out/Confiding In An Ex: Whether you’re sharing personal struggles, seeking advice or just reaching out to someone who’s already seen the worst of you, confiding in an ex is super messy. Turning to your old flame for comfort can often signal unresolved feelings and leave your current partner out of the loop. And it’s best to not mix the past with the present!
Giving Out Your Number: Like we said before, there’s nothing wrong with trying to make new friends! However, if you meet someone new at the bar, at the gym or anywhere and they ask for your number with the intention of getting to really know you, giving out your number is opening the door to cheating.
Calling Your Coworker Your “Work Spouse”: While office banter and inside jokes may seem harmless, when you start labeling someone with the same term typically reserved for your life partner, it’s time to take a second and pause. This little nickname can definitely make your actual partner raise an eyebrow. Nobody wants to hear that their significant other is sharing more laughs and secrets with someone else at the office than they are at home.
Not Telling People You Are In A Relationship: This one might be controversial because on one hand, peoples’ relationships can be private and don’t need to be flashed out for the world to see all the time. However, I think not telling people that you are in a relationship and trying to make yourself appear openly “available” is a hint of micro-cheating.
Communication Is Key!
If you suspect that your partner is micro-cheating on you, the most important thing to do is communicate with them. Having an open and honest conversation with them about your concerns can open the doors to solutions to help fix your relationship. Of course, every relationship is different and has different boundaries, but addressing concerns can help everyone understand each other’s feelings and establish clear expectations on whats allowed in the relationship.
Accusing someone of cheating can be a bold accussation! So instead of going full throttle and lashing out at your partners’ behaviors, approaching the situation calmly and asking them about their actions can help gain clarity on what’s really happening.
A little communication can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings and clear up the confusing world of micro-cheating. Remember, a strong relationship thrives on trust and honesty, and maintaining that trust requires communication!
What do you think about micro-cheating? Are there signs of micro-cheating that we missed? Let us know in the comments below!
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