This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s senior fall editorial intern Dalal Daher. Find her on Instagram at @dalalllldaher. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Have you ever turned to online matchmaking to find love? In 2023, over 381 million people used a dating app globally, and by 2028, that number is expected to jump to 452 million. Even though popular apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble are saturated with interesting people, making it to the first date is a much tougher challenge. Under pressure to make a perfect first impression, you may feel tempted to whip out a pick-up line. But what do you say?
Leave those ‘wyd’ texts in last year and learn some tips and tricks for non-corny dating app introductions that will actually help break the ice.
Be specific!
While it might be easiest to go the low-effort route and copy paste what feels like a trusty pick-up line a la “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes,” I’d side against these kinds of lines. Their well-known humour and romantic intentions are far outweighed by how generic they are, meaning whoever you’re talking to will feel like just another match on your phone. Even if these pick-up lines may have a better success rate in person (verdict’s still out), online they come across lazy and insincere.
Instead, try to come up with an opening line based around something you’ve noticed in their profile. Do they play guitar? Maybe ask “hey, I’ve been wanting to learn how to play guitar for a while–maybe you can teach me!” If they seem to have a nice sense of fashion, you could comment positively on it- “your style is giving [blank].”
Complimenting or highlighting their pet, favorite activity, or anything else of note in their profile, will show your interest in them as an individual. Also, getting people to talk about themselves will generally get them to feel more comfortable around you and open up some further avenues for conversation, ensuring your text chat won’t go dry.
Channel your inner comedian
Humour is generally the key to a great opener or pick-up line. I’d say go with your go-to type of humour. If you can put the person’s name in a pop culture reference, going as witty and original as possible is best (again, to avoid the repetition). Whatever genuinely comes to mind for you, whether it’s a randomly funny comment or question or a joke about something in their profile, is better than a scripted, rigid line. Generally, if you meld your personal sense of humour with something about their profile, it’ll strike the right level of authenticity and originality to help the other person feel comfortable.
Ask a question or start a discussion
A great way to get a sense of someone’s personality is to ask them a theoretical question or start a discussion. The levity these types of lines bring mimics IRL small-talk, and they’re a great casual way to get to know how someone thinks. Open with a casual ‘hey, how’s it going’ and then ask an ice-breaker question– or if you feel like it, just start off with the question.
One of my friends’ Bumble opening lines to her now-boyfriend was “do you like pineapples on pizza?” If you notice the other person’s into a certain artist, you could make a comment or ask a question on it, like “Kendrick Lamar’s new album was hands down the best one” or “what was your favorite Taylor Swift album?” Asking questions to engage the other person will stand out more than an empty comment or compliment.
Some things to avoid…
While I don’t speak for all women, I can tell you that most do not like creepy, pushy, or extremely sexual pick-up lines. Saying something like “I’ve never made love to an [insert race here] girl before” or opening with “I’d bend you over any day of the week” will generally not lead to success. (these are real examples) Imagine saying that to someone IRL– or someone saying that to you in the street.
Matching with someone on a dating app is a sign of interest but it is NOT a sign that they’re immediately calling an Uber to your bedroom. So save any dirty talk for when the convo is headed in a NSFW direction, or your hangout takes a saucy turn, but please put the graphically sexual openers away.
Accept there’s no 100% success rate
Unfortunately, the truth is your funniest introduction or pick-up line will not work on everyone. In the dating app roulette we’re not all compatible with each other. It doesn’t mean you’re not putting out a good first impression. From reasons of boredom, perceived lack of compatibility, disillusionment with dating apps or more, the person you’re talking to may simply not be receptive for reasons that have nothing to do with you.
Remember the goal
The goal in your introduction is to break the ice authentically. Whatever type of humor feels right to you, and is acceptable for small talk, is perfect. Especially in the impersonal realm of dating apps, being genuine much outweighs attempting to be macho and overly charismatic. Remember, while not every line will have a 100% success rate, authenticity, humour, and respect never go out of style.
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