This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s fall editorial intern Alayna Thomas. Find her on Instagram at @ratatoolie. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Work can be stressful. You have to worry about your performance, make sure your boss is satisfied, and you have to be well dressed. However, another source of tension can be coworkers! Although they can be fun to gossip with and talk to, just like with any other relationship, there can be rifts. Unlike other personal relationships, your coworkers might be unavoidable for large parts of the day.
When work drama happens, it can often make the atmosphere at work uncomfortable. This is especially true if you all work in close quarters or have to be in constant communication. This person (or people) you have drama with may constantly be in your Microsoft Teams inbox. A tense environment can lead to you dreading going to work or decreased work performance. And in this economy, we need to keep our jobs!
If you’re struggling with conflict between coworkers and don’t know how to deal with workplace drama, you’ve come to the right place. There are respectful ways to go about resolving the issue without burning bridges!
Keep the Rants Outside of Work
I know this might be hard (I know it is for me), but it is so important that you talk about work problems at places that aren’t work. Even if you said something in confidence to a coworker or friend, you never know who (or what) can overhear you. This leads to a game of telephone, which can result in miscommunication.
This also goes for gossiping. Although most people would advise you to not gossip at all, I know that that’s virtually impossible. It can be fun to discuss what’s going on at work, but try to not do so while on the clock!
Now, this isn’t to say that you can’t vent about things that happened at work. You’re human, afterall, and things will bother you. It just might be smarter and more beneficial for you to rant about your annoying manager outside of the office. Wouldn’t it be a little awkward if you walked into your coworkers having a shit-talking session about you at work?
Set Firm and Clear Boundaries
This may also be difficult if you are non confrontational or have anxiety, like myself. However, setting firm and clear boundaries is a must for avoiding and preventing drama from happening.
Take the previous advice on venting or gossiping outside of work. If a coworker comes up to you and tries to talk about how your other coworkers are dating, you can gently shut them down. You can say something like: “Sorry, I don’t feel comfortable discussing this”. If you would like to be less direct, you could say: “I can’t talk about this now, I am working on an assignment with a tight deadline”. This will show your coworkers what you are and are not comfortable with. This also prevents you from interacting more than you need to with certain coworkers.
Leave a Paper Trail
Although in-person communication is the best for avoiding misunderstandings, it’s essential to leave a paper trail. It’s good to have documentation. You never know what could happen; without a paper trail it’s just your word against theirs.
If you are going to have a meeting with somebody, send an email or a message confirming that meeting. After the meeting, send another email or message with footnotes of the meeting. Keep messages and emails for as long as you need to. It might seem tedious, and it is, but it’s great to do this to keep a peace of mind.
Open and Honest Conversation
Growing up, my grandmother would tell me that “closed mouths don’t get fed”.Venting to others is good to relieve work-related stress and to get advice, it’s better to go up to the person and get to the bottom of the problem.
Be direct and honest about what is bothering you. Don’t beat around the bush! If you’re being truthful about what’s upsetting you, the issue can be resolved better.
Rehearse or Draft Up What You Want to Say
It’s rehearsal time! If you’re really dreading having a conversation with someone or sending off that email, practice or create a mock up!
Go in the mirror and pretend you are talking to your coworker. Call up a friend and have them pretend to be a coworker and go through scenarios. Write up draft emails and send them to a friend to look them over. This makes sure that you are getting your point across clearly. You can also make sure that you don’t sound too harsh.
Involve Upper Management/HR If Necessary
As I’ve stated in the article, conflict is a part of life. However, there is a difference between drama and bullying or harassment. If it veers into bullying and harassment territory, it might be time to get higher ups involved. Be sure to know a little bit about workplace laws, such as Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 or the Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990. These acts, and others like it, have provisions that protect people, especially those from vulnerable groups, from harassment.
This is when it’s especially important to have a paper trail. Have any screenshots or messages pulled up for proof if asked.
Cool Off Before Replying
This is a skill I have learned throughout my life. Sometimes, you need to take a break in a heated moment! I know that when I didn’t take a break, I’ve said some things that I didn’t mean.
If you’re having a heated exchange online, it’s super easy to take a step back. Just take a quick 10-15 minutes before replying to that email. If you must, change your status to ‘offline’.
It can be trickier to take a break during an in-person conversation, but it can be done! Just politely excuse yourself to the bathroom or to get some water, then come back when you’re ready. Future you will be thankful.
Decompress/Self-Care
This is the most fun and vital step! You can’t let work consume your life. Don’t forget to take care of yourself and/or decompress after a long day of work. Go to that new bar with your friends, try that kickboxing class, catch up on whatever show you’ve been bingeing. Whatever gets your mind off of the drama!
What do you think? Do you know how to deal with workplace drama? Let us know in the comments!
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