This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Lindsay Daneen. Find her on Instagram at @_lindsay_daneen. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
It feels nearly impossible to protect your peace nowadays. There is a constant influx of counterproductive posts on social media, unsolicited comments from the people around us, and endless sources of pain and suffering worldwide. We can’t possibly stay grounded and mentally healthy with all the doom swirling around us. You are not alone though. We’re all navigating these shark-infested waters. There’s negativity mixed into every aspect of our day-to-day, so it is okay to admit that it has a cynical effect on you. Although there are many ways to deal with this sad reality, it’s helpful to lay out the rules and guidelines of how to not let others’ negativity affect you.
Politics
I don’t need to go into tremendous detail about what is happening in the political realm. Frankly, it’s not good for my mental health to talk about it. So, I’ll spare us both. Here’s how you block it out though. Utilize that block button! It’s there for a reason. This is the reality. Although it’s great to be aware of what is happening in the world, tragedy overload is never the answer. I recommend choosing your battles. What I mean is, if you must be in the know of specific issues then do that. Create a filter for you to stay abreast of what directly affects you. It’s admirable and compassionate to know what’s going on with groups of people across the world. But it does not benefit you if it overwhelms you and negatively impacts your mental health. Take the bad news in stride.
Social Media
Social media is probably the biggest source of negativity in our lives. It encompasses bad news, encourages insecurities, and creates an environment for an endless flood of negative opinions from people all over the world. The fact that it can’t be avoided makes it that much worse. I’ve tried to take my own social media breaks but I realized I use it for everything. I use it to find out why MTA is delayed. I book my hair appointments on it. And it’s necessary to use in my field. How else will I be able to keep up with what’s going on outside? Others use it to run their businesses and for other aspects of work. So how do you filter it all? And how do you make sure that it doesn’t ruin your good mood?
This is another instance of when your block button will come in handy. But that’s easier to do when you don’t want to see specific things, like anything related to politics as mentioned previously. But you can’t block social media in its entirety. That’s when the hard work comes. The algorithm should be used to your advantage. You have to bombard yourself with things that make you smile. The more you interact with them the more they will appear. Pay attention to what makes you smile and what soothes you. Even if you can’t block all the negativity that social media has to offer you can at least reset the balance. 60% positivity is better than 30%.
This may sound silly, but you should try to understand how the human brain works. Even when you’re not paying attention, your brain is processing information. It’s processing the nasty comments said about your favorite artist, noticing that you’re being inundated with plastic surgery or Botox ads. It’s even keeping inventory of how often you see people doing and buying things that you can’t currently afford. I could tell you all day to not let it bother you but as a human being you can only do so much before you finally crack. So please try to limit the bad and balance it with the good as often as possible. Your brain and happy hormones will thank you.
Set Boundaries
Our loved ones including friends can make it difficult to set boundaries in this area. I have friends who constantly send me updates about what is going on with the government or the last crazy thing that the most unpredictable celebrities have done. I’m sure I’m not alone. So, you must be honest and set boundaries. I’ve muted their stories and mentioned that it’s not very helpful for my psyche to see those types of images and updates. It may not be the most comfortable conversation but it’s necessary. I can also appreciate that our friends want to discuss the news and what’s on their minds. We want to be able to do that with them. But it’s more productive in the long run to express your discomfort for the time being and make it clear that it’s just temporary. You just need to take in some positivity first.
Now What?
This new world that we are currently living in is providing the learning curve of all learning curves. It feels like things are changing every day and we are struggling to keep up with it. Then once you add the negative comments of others, life can resemble a shit-storm of despair and dark clouds. It’s not all bad though. It’s just very easy to remember the bad over the good. I’m not sure why our brains work like this. But changing this is going to take conscious decision-making and intentional steps from each of us. We need to adjust what we are consuming daily, both virtually and in person. So here’s the trick.
Honesty with yourself and others mixed with a bit of denial is how to not let others’ negativity affect you. Denial sounds crazy right? But hear me out. As a person who is very aware, I know what’s going on. I’m not oblivious although I wish that I was at times. That’s why sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I tell myself that everything is okay and that I’m going to have a beautiful week. Some may call this manifestation or just a positive outlook. But I call it positive denial because I know that everything is not okay. I know the world is in shambles and at least one thing will make me want to scream or cry internally. But I tell myself the opposite because why not? What are some ways you combat negativity? We need all the help we can get!
Have tips for how to not let others’ negativity affect you? Let us know in the comments below!
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