This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Amna Faheem. Find her on Instagram at @amnaf.aheem. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
We as a society have created a tether to our phones, spiritually forming an unbreakable bond with the touchscreen device, unloading our whole lives into it. We cannot exist without having it in close proximity to us, able to be reached and grabbed and scrolled on at any given moment. Ringers chime to alert us of a new notification that just has to be tended to immediately. Texts and direct messages reach through the screen and grab us in a chokehold until we respond. Our replies must be immediate, or it’s bad texting etiquette. We walk with our phones in our hands. Ride on trains during our commutes with our phones in our hands. We sit across from each other at dinner with our phones in our hands. We avoid in-person conversations and prefer talking using the phones in our hands. We spill off our babies and give them the phones in our hands.
There is always a phone in our hands. And, for better or for worse, the brick of technology has completely revamped how we communicate with one another and form genuine relationships.
The Evolution of Texting
Texting did not come about with the smartphone, though it could be considered to have gained popularity alongside the iPhone’s iMessage launch in 2011. But texting, also known as Short Message Service (SMS), has been around way before that, since the late 1990s. Flip phones, slide phones, and Nokias were all coming out with keyboards that had letters, symbols, and numbers. MySpace and Facebook, launched in 2003 and 2004, respectively, were equipped with SMS features, allowing people to chat and LOL with each other. BRB and TTYL were finally put to good use after years of clicking the same button three times on the Verizon flip phone just to send one 😉 to your girlfriend. Texting became more and more efficient with acronyms seemingly coming out of the woodwork annually:
“FYI, ur gf is 2 cul 4 U” would have crushed a boy’s heart.
“LOL ur so funny grl. gn TTYL,” would have been a normal conversation between two friends.
Full sentences went out the window. Complete words and phrases were thrown in the wastebasket. Punctuation and spelling were deleted. Everything became watered down. Our conversations became too ‘OMG THX’ and not enough ‘Oh my gosh, thank you so much.’ Authenticity seemed to have left us the more we incorporated texting into our talking world. The faster our fingers got, the heavier our tongues became.
The Effects Behind the LOL
FYI, I’m not saying texting is bad. Texting is meant to be a convenient way of casual conversation. It’s quick and easy and efficient. A quick IDK sends across the message instantly. You don’t need to sit down and write an extensive message about anything. Texting is immediate and concise. It’s available all the time, arguably the most accessible aspect in our lives currently. Texting is friendly, low low-stakes. Whole conversations can be had over text with not a real word being said. IMO (in my opinion), texting has ruined how we talk to each other. Nobody knows how to be real. Nobody knows how to speak without an LMK or an HMU L8R.
Aside from that, texting also doesn’t give an insight into how the message being sent is supposed to be conveyed. What could have been sent as a normal IDK could be construed as a hostile one by the receiver. Misunderstandings and general disconnections between each other are far too common in the texting realm.
This is why calling is better than texting; Sounds are better than words.
By calling one another, you can hear their tone of voice. You can understand the meaning behind what they are saying. The emotional connection is real, and it’s present, making the conversation all the more sincere. In using real words and reactions, not emojis and abbreviations, the bond between the two individuals becomes stronger and legitimate. Yes, texting is quick, but phone calls are worth the extra minute or two they come with. You cannot have important conversations adequately over text messages. The tone indicators and pitches of voices do not come up in texting. The emphasis on words and syllables that communicate the point of the dialogue is not present. It is the absence of these small and seemingly unimportant details that causes a great deal of misunderstanding and conflict.
RIP to the Real Deal
TBH, texting has been the downfall of our social skills. Big time. We lack the necessary understanding of verbal cues. We have adopted an impersonal approach to communication in written form. We do not know how to speak to one another in a real way. Eye contact. Facial expressions. Body language. Empathy. All skills diminished to almost zero. Human interaction as a whole has been simplified down to the 26 letters on your phone and the wide variety of emoticons that have slowly replaced our own faces. You cannot form a true connection solely through BTWs and ILYs. It’s just not possible.
Our emotional intelligence has also taken a massive blow. The development and growth of EI have been obstructed by the lack of practice in social skills in the wild. Hence why calling is better than texting.
Calling and video chatting with each other gives us the opportunity to hear one another. Patience is something that does not go hand in hand with text messages but is almost required through calling. Nuances of communication- specific expressions, tones, etc.- things that are deeper than just the words being used are clear as day over the phone. Sarcasm is one of the leading causes of death in communication through texting. It is easily misinterpreted and quickly assumed. That issue becomes almost extinct when you call someone. Paying attention to how someone speaks and not just what they speak allows you to connect with them on a deeper and more personal level.
Texting has taken away the joys of interpersonal communication. While it gives people a chance to stay in touch across states and oceans, sending cute messages and funny quips, it has taken the most important part out of relationships: authenticity. Without that, our conversations are dulled down to BRB and TBH and LOL. Our culture has abandoned the significance of calling each other and has dismissed the importance of hearing our voices and allowing ourselves to express our emotions in a real way. We are afraid to pick up the phone out of fear of having to use our words in a way without the protection of the glass dividing us from one another.
Do you prefer calling or texting? Do you know why calling is better than texting? Let us know in the comments below!
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