This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Amna Faheem. Find her on Instagram at @amnaf.aheem. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
One out of every six American women has been or almost was a victim of rape in their lifetime. Over half of women and one in three men in America have experienced violence in a sexual manner.
Sexual assault is a heartbreaking and abhorrent occurrence that has become far too common. Any statistic is too much. Any number is repulsive and should not have taken place. The narrative around sexual assault is always unfavorable to the victim. What was she wearing, why was she there, she shouldn’t have been so drunk, she was being too friendly, she didn’t say no, he was nice, he didn’t mean to, she clearly wanted it, she lying, she’s a slut, he has a bright future ahead of him, he’s too important in the community this would ruin him, he’s a good guy.
She always does something wrong. He is never the bad guy.
Sexual assault is the act of touching someone else in a sexual and intimate manner without their consent. Kissing, grabbing, penetrating, prodding, or anything of the sort falls under that umbrella. Sexual assault is violating and humiliating. It’s extremely damaging to the victim and leaves them with lifelong effects.
The results of the aggressor’s selfishness and complete disregard for another human being now become the responsibility of the victim to shoulder for the rest of their days. 92.1 percent of sexual abuse offenders are men; only 8.3 percent of those offenders are convicted at trial.
Court systems fail us. Conviction rates humiliate us. Assailants walk away, and victims are left to pick up the pieces. We are conditioned to believe that it was our fault. We did this. We wanted this. We didn’t say no enough or speak loud enough. But that is not the case.
Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. Ever. No matter the circumstance.
What you’re wearing, where you are, what you say, what you were doing leading up to it- someone else’s lack of respect for other people and basic human decency towards others is not your fault, nor is it your burden to carry. And the fact that we often are meant to feel otherwise is sickening and not right or fair.
That is why sexual assault awareness month is so important.
April has been declared Sexual Assault Awareness Month in America by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. NSVRC began the initiative in 2001 in hopes of raising awareness around sexual assault and increasing its prevention. People don’t think about-or like to think about- sexual assault or sexual violence as a whole. In beginning a conversation around it, you make people aware of it. In making people aware of it, they start thinking of solutions and prevention methods; acknowledgment and prevention go hand in hand.
Though SAAM was born 24 years ago this month, the discussion around sexual violence toward women was gaining popularity during the 1940s and 50s, alongside the civil rights movement. The conversations kept growing and rising well into the 1970s, with the first rape crisis center being established in San Francisco in 1971. Seven years after that, San Francisco held the oldest worldwide event against sexual violence, Take Back the Night.
In the years following, more events and organizations came to fruition, shining a light on sexual assault and emphasizing the need for conversation and parameters to ensure its prevention. Survivors, advocates, and organizers caused enough of a stir and successfully created funding for survivors and passed significant legislation, like the Violence Against Women Act of 1993.
The more people talk, the more people will listen, the more something will happen. Sexual violence was no longer dust being swept under the rug or spilled milk not worth being cried over. Groups like NSVRC and those holding marches and parades forced this unattractive topic to the front. Happenings like ‘Denim Day’ push these thoughts to the top.
People were going to think about this whether they wanted to or not. Starting in Italy in 1992, Denim Day is an annual campaign held in partnership with sexual assault awareness month. The Italian Supreme Court presiding over the case had ruled that an 18-year-old girl could not have been the victim of rape because her jeans were too tight. Denim Day gives support to survivors and takes a stand against assailants. The idea that someone’s jeans were too tight for them to be raped or assaulted is another example of how SAAM is necessary.
Without sexual assault awareness month, education about the act would not be the priority it has become. SAAM dedicated itself to teaching young children and teenagers about the meaning of consent and its significance. It taught them that no means no and, in addition to doctors and parents, drove home the notion that your private areas are just that: private. Nobody should be coming near them if you do not want them to. Survivors are too often ostracized and felt silenced by society. Sexual assault is seen as such a hush-hush conversation that everybody is afraid to bring it up.
But it is because of how uncomfortable it is to talk about it that we must talk about it more.
Normalizing that conversation, normalizing the discussion around consent, defining what a private part is, and that nobody should be touching them in an inappropriate way, and even just explaining what an inappropriate manner is are all severely important points to be addressed. When these subjects are broached, it educates young boys and girls on what is and is not okay. Knowing what is inappropriate is crucial so if something happens, they can label it and talk about it; knowledge is empowering, and being comfortable and informed on a subject as heavy and as consequential as sexual assault is pivotal.
A lack of conversation breeds shame. Shame breeds secrecy. Secrecy can be detrimental to one’s self. Talking can be lifesaving. Knowing equips survivors with the ability to report their aggressor and hold them accountable.
You can’t do anything if you don’t know what happened. You can’t say anything if you don’t possess the knowledge and language to describe it.
If you don’t know it was wrong.
Sexual assault awareness month aspires to put an end to that. To make certain that everyone knows the necessity for consent. To give people the proper tools and comprehension so they know if something is happening and they know that something is very wrong something. Their theme, “Together We Act, United We Change,” beautifully encapsulates their efforts. We need to break down the walls and destigmatize conversations around sexual assault that hinder victims and survivors from speaking up. We have to change how we view sexual violence and hold one another accountable, creating space for people to speak and an understanding that aggressors will not just be written off as ‘the good guy’ who could do no harm. Victims will not be diluted down to the clothes they were wearing and a twist in the story of how they were at fault.
Plain and simple: victims of sexual assault and violence are never at fault. Ever.
Do you know what Sexual Assault Awareness Month is? Let us know in the comments below!
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