Therapy can be quite a taboo subject of discussion in society. It comes with a great deal of stigmatization, a certain air of discomfort, and hesitation when people bring it up. Should we be talking about this? Is this even appropriate to chat about, openly and in public? Individuals might feel embarrassed or shy about attending the mental health treatment sessions, as if it means something isn’t right with them. As if going to therapy is bad. 

But therapy is something we all need to invest in. It has nothing to do with your value as a person and everything to do with wanting to improve yourself and your state of mind. As the years have passed and the concept has become more normalized and accepted, more ‘branches’ of specialized therapy have blossomed. Distinctive methods for specific issues have developed, allowing a wider range of people to be able to seek the help they so desire. There is no problem ‘too big’ or ‘too small’; everyone deserves and should attend therapy. 

Unfortunately, the process of locking down a therapist can be very arduous and stressful. Finding one that takes your insurance and matches your schedule. An individual you feel comfortable with and able to open up to. Not just someone to talk at, but someone to converse with. Therapy is about collaboration and empathy, not just speaking. Without that, your sessions might not yield the best results. 

Through the endless trial and error, scheduling and rescheduling, the whole ordeal can be emotionally draining. So we find ourselves settling. ‘Sure, this doctor might not be the most person match, but they’re decent enough, and I’ve already seen four others; I’m too tired to keep looking. This will do.’ 

But it might not. And as time goes on and you keep meeting with them consistently, you might realize you need to learn how to dump your therapist. 

Breaking Up Isn’t Always Bad

Therapy is meant to be a private, and collaborative treatment in which mental health professionals aid individuals in confidential spaces to work through their feelings and further understand them. Therapy is meant to be a non-judgmental space, teaching the patient how to cope with their challenges and navigate any emotional or psychological distress. 

Sometimes, however, our journey doesn’t always go as we envisioned it would. Not seeing as much progress as you would want at a certain stage, feeling uncomfortable when talking with your therapist, or a lack of empathy from them. Receiving a sensation of judgment of looking down upon you, not wanting to understand, and imposing their own ruling on the situation isn’t what a healthy therapy session should look like. 

If you feel like you need to know how to dump your therapist, there are a couple of ways to go about it. 

It can be daunting to stand up and express how you feel to your psychologist. But you have to remember that you are the most important person in this situation. Therapy is meant to serve you and help you grow, not the other way around. While sessions might become emotionally heightened and tense, remaining calm and respectful is the only way to go about bringing up any issues you have.

Your therapist might have a specific reasoning for why they were going about your treatment in the manner they chose, and with you bringing it up, they are able to understand why it’s not working and adjust their methods for future clients.

Telling them how they made you feel and not attacking your doctor is key to having a constructive conversation in which you ensure you’re feeling heard and not dismissed. While they might not be the doctor meant for you, it’s still important to treat one another with respect. 

If conflict makes you anxious, and face-to-face confrontation is not something you’re comfortable with doing, there are other methods out there for you. Sending a message to them after your sessions is another way to express how you’ve been feeling and cut things off. 

“After some thought…” “I’m not sure we’re the best match,” or “I think I should explore other options,” are some good examples of how to phrase your message should you choose to send one. You can use throw-away excuses like “the sessions are out of my budget currently,” or blame a change in your schedule if you’re not comfortable facing the reasons head-on. 

If you think you’re able to tackle the issue, you can take advantage of your connection with your current therapist and ask if they have any recommendations or other specialists they could point you to. 

Just because you’re dumping your therapist does not mean you’re dumping therapy. An unpleasant experience with one therapist shouldn’t close the door on the whole experience for you. 

Silence is (Sometimes) the Best Policy

Of course, you could always not say anything at all. Although it’s not recommended, ghosting is a therapist is another method of breaking up with a therapist. Canceling your appointment through a phone call and avoiding contact with their office thereafter is quite a common method of practice when ditching the doc. 

Another option many take part in is calling the office, not necessarily the doctor themselves, and cancelling their appointments that way, if you don’t know how to dump your therapist. While having a conversation and discussion, your decision and your reasoning behind it are the best way to go in most cases; you can use your best judgment. 

Not every therapist will be your therapist. It’s important to understand that finding the right match is a process of trial and error. Always be honest with yourself and what you’re looking for, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself if something isn’t sitting right! We all deserve to be seen and heard. If therapy is for you, remember that it’s meant to be all about you, so don’t be shy to make sure it is. Every situation varies case-by-case, so keeping your best interest in mind is the most important thing to do!

Have you ever ghosted your therapist? Let us know in the comments below!