I’m pretty sure we’ve all been on social media long enough to know the term “glow up”. If you don’t know, a glow up means someone who pursues a transformation in their physical appearance or lifestyle. The process is deemed to be a more mature and sophisticated version of yourself. Think of the woman who transformed her entire wardrobe, perfected her makeup routine and suddenly…she’s that girl! There are other glow-ups that I’ve come across too, such as influencers documenting their fitness journey with side by side photos and the breakup survivor who emerges six months later with a whole new attitude and look. 

These transformations are supposed to be viewed as a form of a “healthy glow up” or “healing”. Plus, the message is somewhat consistent: if you’re glowing, it should be visible. But what happens when healing doesn’t look like a before-and-after pic? What if that growth can’t be captured in a photo dump or summarized in an Instagram reel?

What the glow up trend is really about

Social media has turned the glow up trend into a cultural concept. What used to be a personal reckoning to keep to oneself has become a content format for self-improvement. Glow-ups can be anything from adapting to a healthier diet or finding a better job. There’s also nothing wrong with moving on from a difficult chapter in your life — but sometimes, that “difficult chapter” could be transformed for millions to see.

As this pattern starts to grow, healing becomes more of a performance. 

We expect ourselves to emerge from hardship stronger, prettier, more successful and somehow more appealing than before. However, the glow up narrative trains you to locate your worth in the distance between who you are and who you’re becoming, and to measure it visually. This means that if you can’t see the difference — if you’ve spent six months in therapy and noticed a change with your mental health, but haven’t been able to lose weight — you may feel like you have nothing to show for it.

Real healing shouldn’t have to work that way. If anything, it’s a self-worth trap.

What healing should look like

Real healing is presented in a form that is both authentic and natural. It’s getting out of bed when you don’t want to, but you have the drive to maintain a positive outlook on life. It’s setting boundaries for yourself after experiencing years of betrayal and hurt. It’s taking time out of your day, setting up a solo date and reminding yourself that you are worthy without the need of a partner.

These moments don’t need to be documented for YouTube or TikTok. None of these are dramatic enough for a transformation video. But they are the most important forms of growth. 

I remember when I finally came to a realization of realistic healing — healing without the need of “glowing up” for social means you are committing to a quiet progression that is humble. If every “glow up” is supposed to produce a better version of oneself, what happens if that person is still not happy with themselves?

Social media rarely shows the realities of people who are struggling with anxiety and depression. No matter how much a curated highlight shows the “glow up” version of you, it’ll never show the real version of you — that’s when you know that you need to start reflecting internally rather than externally.

Instead of seeking validation from your followers, try out things that will connect spiritually with you. Journal about your week and keep it to yourself. Maintain a balanced diet and know that eating one cookie won’t derail your weight. Your makeup routine doesn’t have to match the influencer who “glowed up” after a breakup.

The goal of healing isn’t to feel more aesthetically pleasing. It’s to feel more at home within yourself. And, that’s a healthy glow-up that you can do for yourself.

What do you think a healthy glow up should look like? Let us know in the comments!