This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Fainite Auguste. Find her on Instagram at @ceilingdancing. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Women’s financial independence has progressed significantly in the United States. In the past four decades, women have solidified themselves in the workplace, housing market, and economy in general.
Despite fighting for and winning these economic equalities, society has not moved on from the rather bland discourse: who should pay the bill on a date?
The Relationship Between Women and Money
Firstly, men have been the center of capitalism for as long as it has existed. It goes further than money for a date. Financial independence is relatively new to women in the United States. In 1974, women finally received the right to open a bank account, sign for a mortgage, and apply for a credit card of their own. Despite this, there is still a pay gap between men and women in the United States. According to a 2023 U.S. Department of Labor report, “women who work full-time, year-round, are paid an average of 83.7 percent as much as men, which amounts to a difference of $10,000 per year.”
People have taken to TikTok to defend their beliefs on the internet. There are hundreds of videos on TikTok of men complaining about paying the bill. Some men even go to the extent of accusing women of being “gold diggers” for adhering to the traditional norms instilled in them from a young age.
On the other side of the discussion, some men feel emasculated because women want to pay for dates. This cultural clash in the United States shows the struggle between evolving societal expectations and deeply ingrained beliefs about gender roles. As women gain more independence socially and financially, some men simply can’t grapple with shifting power dynamics and societal expectations surrounding masculinity.
Splitting the Bill in a Queer Relationship
I think it’s true in every relationship that resentment will start to build if one person is the sole financial contributor to dates and outings. Imbalances in financial contributions within relationships can lead to resentment. The most important thing in a relationship is transparency. Talking about income and money may seem scary, but it saves the relationship.
I will admit that I have not been the best at splitting the bill in my relationship. My partner offered to pay for the first few dates as a courtesy. I weirdly fell into the heteronormative idea that a woman has everything paid for her. In reality, my partner and I are both full-time college students and it simply is impossible for one person to pay all the time. In the past few months, I’ve made an effort to pay my half of it when I can. I’ve found discussing the price of a restaurant or activity before going allows a couple to decide if someone will pay or if it’s best to split the bill. This upfront communication not only prevents potential misunderstandings but also contributes to a healthy financial dynamic in the relationship.
The journey toward financial equality is ongoing, marked by societal shifts, changing expectations, and the need to challenge traditional gender roles. As conversations about money and relationships continue, they inadvertently create a wave of broader societal shifts toward equitable and respectful financial relationships.
Well, how about you? Who should pay the bill on a date? Or have you and your partner come up with a new interesting way of paying for dates? Let us know!
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