This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s summer editorial intern Jordyn Centerwall. Find her on Instagram at @jordyncenterwall. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Dating nowadays can be hellish. Aside from the frequent Hinge download and delete cycle of the past couple of years, I feel like I’m constantly bombarded by new dating strategies, and apps using AI to match you to partners. There’s even an app that matches you using your DNA. While most of these apps already add a layer of gamification to the dating experience, a strategy called a boo bounty takes it to a whole new capitalistic level.
What is a boo bounty?
A boo bounty is an incentivized matchmaking approach to dating. The name is a play on the “bug bounties” that tech companies offer to people who find problems with sites. Others more recently have coined this type of matchmaking as a “dating referral reward program.” Essentially someone who enacts a boo bounty offers either straight monetary rewards or rewards with some inherent value. The concept started circulating TikTok last December, and this year leading up to Valentine’s Day the New York Times wrote an article about two men who posted such bounties. One of the men offered up to $100,000 to whoever found them love.
In a recent TikTok video by creator @arknobite, he shared some of his female friend’s bounties. A referral that led to a first date earns you (the referrer) a drink paid for on a night out. The rewards offered increase in value if a relationship continues with the ultimate bounty going to whoever introduces the person to the partner they marry.
While it is not a new idea to leverage friends to facilitate introductions and connections, the packaging of this particular strategy is more akin to the professional matchmaking industry. Professional matchmakers have been around for decades, yet I was surprised that even just googling matchmaking populated several matchmaking services in my city alone. If you’re thinking that $100,000 sounds like an insane amount to offer up, consider that most professional matchmakers charge between $10,000 to $20,000 a month, and most have success clauses should the service prove successful in which they would receive an additional bonus.
Why are people doing it?
The short answer to why boo bounties are popping up in online discourse and practice: people are fed up. Most of these new dating strategies illustrate a similar message of being frustrated with dating apps and the paywall behind which they hide the “best” matches. Over the past several years, we have seen people adopt new strategies to meet like-minded people. Run clubs are one example of this that has become an internet phenomenon. Other online videos include jokes about looking confused at [insert store that fits the persona of people you’re interested in].
As a run club attendee myself I’m skeptical of how long this dating bounty will remain a common strategy. However, here are the pluses and minuses of this dating strategy.
Pros
Outsourcing
Similar to the AI apps, a boo bounty takes the effort of finding people to date off of you, and onto anyone who wants to compete for the bounty. It is essentially outsourcing. While this could be seen as a red flag that someone is not looking to prioritize a relationship, but is simply throwing money at a problem, it could also remove biases from the dating selection process.
Breaking the Pattern
We all have that one friend who picks terrible people for themselves. You know the one. You probably have your own pattern as well in dating, I know I have one I’m looking to break (cough cough starting to date someone with a time limit). One of the pros of a boo bounty though is that a friend without your pattern or who can be externally critical of that pattern is the one making the choice. You could be exposed to individuals with different family situations, races, or attachment styles than what you usually go for by opening yourself up to a boo bounty.
Prescreening
Boo bounties also give friends the chance to refer candidates to you that they actually like. There’s nothing worse than your friends not getting along with your partner. If they’re the ones supplying the candidates, there’s really no excuse on their end. Assuming this is done with friends you trust and are similar to you, chances are your friend’s friends will also be similar, like-minded people.
Cons
Releasing Control
Participating in a boo bounty requires the person to release control. Sure it can be seen as taking control over your dating life by attaching money to it and therefore prioritizing it, but you also have to trust someone to choose for you.
Buy In
Boo bounties rely on your friends wanting to participate, which in turn relies on you knowing the people you’d want to hold the responsibility of referring dates. Do the friends in your life have the time to supply candidates for you? Does the concept of essentially employing your friends to provide you with dating candidates feel authentic to you? These are both questions I think deserve consideration before considering a boo bounty.
Capitalism + Dating =????
Now this might not be a con for you, but I tend to be overly skeptical about any dating strategy that gets a little too synthetic, hack-the-system type beat. To me, boo bounties follow a similar pattern that new dating apps like Raya and others who use membership and referral programs. These apps demonstrate an increased desire for a smaller, vouched pool of candidates. Raya was initially marketed toward celebrities and other successful individuals but has since opened up to applications from the masses.
It feels a little sad too. It’s discouraging to the hopeless romantic in me that we have reached a place in society where we’re willing to pay our friends to set us up on dates instead of just asking them.
My favorite bounty items
Even though I’m not a fan of boo bounties, I still love reading what people are willing to offer up. Here are my personal favorites from @arknobite’s video and its comment section.
- First-class all expenses paid airfare to the wedding if you are the one to set them up. (Honestly, I feel like an invite to the wedding would be enough incentive for me.)
- Homemade cookies if the date progresses to a second date
- An IOU to help the next time you’re moving if the relationship becomes long-term and exclusive (lowkey worth it, moving is so exhausting)
- A vacation to the Philippines for someone who sets them up with a long-term relationship
Would you ever put up a boo bounty to your friends? What kind of incentives would you offer? Let us know in the comments!
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