Dating, Friendship, Relationships

How To Meet People In Your 20s – Ditch The Dating Apps & Meet People IRL

how to meet people in your 20s

If you’ve been in the game for long enough, you may be starting to get tired of dating apps. For me, I can’t stand the endless strings of “hey,” “hi, how’s it going?” “pretty good you?” “Good, good.” No, not every conversation is like this, because I don’t happen to be the driest conversationalist out there, but when you’re not given much to work with, this kind of monotony is borderline torture. After trying my hand at dating apps (and certainly giving them a fair chance), I had enough. Anyway, I started realizing I had better connections with and felt more comfortable with people I had met in person already. So, if you want to skip that awkward talking phase despite having never met the other person, keep on reading because I have all the tips on how to meet people IRL. And I know what you’re thinking, “Ash, aren’t you single?” Well, yes. But I didn’t say this article was a guide on how to maintain these relationships– that’s on you. I have however met a surprising amount of people in person when I focused my energy on putting myself out there IRL as opposed to online. Here’s how how to meet people in your 20s – in real life!

Hang Out In Public Places

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Whether you’re alone or with friends, switching up your hangout spot is a great way to put yourself out there even if you’re craving some downtime. Trust me, this doesn’t have to take hard work. It’s actually way easier than swiping endlessly online. If you put yourself out there in the most basic, literal sense, you’re making yourself known to others and available if they want to approach you and vice versa. For example, hanging out at the park with some friends and having a painting sesh can lead to a stranger walking up and asking to join in, then after talking, the two of you may decide to go out together. Or perhaps you’re studying at a coffee shop. Say you look up to see a cutie across the way. Maybe you could invite them to study with you and BOOM, is this already a first date? The point is, putting yourself out there literally is a great first step in meeting people IRL. Dating apps don’t always emit vibes, and when you’re in person, you’re often going to make a more memorable impression. So, take those baby steps and get out there! Anything can happen from there.

Ditch The Headphones

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It hurts me a little to say this, but we have to ditch the headphones when we’re out and about in public. For too long, those little things have been a security blanket that have, (for lack of better words) cock-blocked way too many times. If you’re trying to meet someone in person, put your headphones away and bring yourself out of the bubble you’re keeping yourself in. I know, I know, but what about the music? Trust me, I couldn’t live without it either. But there really are so many other ways and times you can enjoy listening to your favorite music without blocking yourself off from others. Who knows, a cutie could totally invite you to a show where you discover a new favorite band.

Start a Conversation with Anyone

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I feel like so many of us truly do forget how to approach people and have a conversation IRL now. I mean, if talking to someone has become as easy as sliding into DMs, swiping, or sending heart-eyed emojis, it’s fair that many of us get nervous when it comes to talking to people in the real world. If you’re like me, a lot of your social anxiety stems from not knowing what the other person thinks, and there are two ways to work through this. You can simply not care what anyone thinks…. Yeah, that one’s not actually so simple. But you can also try to assume that everyone around you is in a positive mood until they show you otherwise. This kind of positive thinking will not only help you be happier and start conversations with others, but it may also help you meet a stranger you really connect with when anxiety would have otherwise gotten in your way.

Be Approachable

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If you’re too scared to go up to anyone (or if you don’t want to scare someone you’re approaching) you have to present a non-threatening persona. This can look like open body language, catching your RBF, speaking clearly, and making eye contact. If you’re huddled up in the corner of the library with your head buried in a book, you’re probably way less approachable than someone sitting in an open area of the library reading in a non-closed-off position. If you struggle with trying to find out how to be approachable, just think about how you’d want someone to look or respond if you were trying to pursue them. What makes you more comfortable going up and talking to a person? Do that for others!

Be Unapologetically Yourself

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It’s called not giving a shit, and it feels amazing, you should try it sometime. But in all seriousness, I know it’s hard to get out of your head and let yourself truly be, especially around others. Though it certainly pays off to fight the fear or even do it scared – you may end up getting a partner out of it. Say you’re at a concert with friends and no one is dancing, but you really want to. Say Fuck it and go ahead and dance your little heart out! Don’t care about not having dad moves, just enjoy yourself! Once you start prioritizing your own happiness and letting the world see you as you are, others will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

Smile at Strangers

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And I don’t mean just smile at the strangers you think are cute. Smile at every stranger you cross paths with, and you’ll not only find yourself making other people feel good, but it might also brighten your mood too. What does this have to do with finding someone to date IRL? Well, smiling at every stranger is a great way to practice smiling at strangers you think are cute. A smile can lead to so much more, you just have to let it.

Be Present

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Dwelling on the past and worrying about the future, or something that’s happening elsewhere is a great way to take you out of the present moment– where way too much happens, that you don’t want to miss it. If you’re in your head, you may miss the opportunity to make eye contact with your future soulmate, or meet a friend who introduces you to your future soulmate. The point is, possibilities are endless and even if you’re physically out in the real world, you need to bring your mind into the real world as well. Trust me, doing so will open up tons of opportunities.

You trying to figure out how to how to meet people in your 20s and how to ditch dating apps? Let us know if these tips helped in the comments! Have you met a partner IRL and not online? Share your story to motivate others in the comments!

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