This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Lindsay Daneen. Find her on Instagram at @_lindsay_daneen. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
It’s no secret that I’m closer to the Millennial end of the Zillennial generation subcategory. I’ve experienced some special and life-changing events that only we’d understand. For example, I remember the first mp3 player, the first cellphone that played music, the first iPhone, Beyonce in Destiny’s Child (with 4 members), and …the beginning of Rihanna! It was a time! I can recall the first time I heard “Pon de Replay.” Her sound was different. And this new girl on the scene, with her Bajan accent and nonchalant island and girl attitude, was breathtaking. We were mesmerized and wanted more. So, as I reminisce on my 5th-grade self, who listened to Music of the Sun on an mp3 player, I must acknowledge Rihanna’s incredible career and music catalog. What better way to do that than to figure out our zodiac signs as Rihanna songs?
Capricorn – “Pour It Up” (Unapologetic) & “Bitch Better Have My Money” (Single)
The money sign! Hello, Capricorn. No one gets to play with your money. And I appreciate you as the accountants of the zodiacs. “Pour It Up” suits you. Between every other line of Rihanna’s verses, you hear, “I still got more money.” Then there’s the repeated, “Money on my mind. Money, money, on my mind.” This seems fitting. Next, we have “Bitch Better Have My Money.” It’s straight to the point, like you. And the message is clear. You wouldn’t be you if that weren’t the case. But don’t worry, Capricorn! We have your money. There’s no need to get aggressive.
Aquarius – “Needed Me” (ANTI)
My favorite sign! We are gracious but with an overwhelming amount of confidence and independence mixed in. So, a song from the unapologetic and confident ANTI seems appropriate. “Needed Me” starts with “I was good on my own, that’s the way it was.” When she continued, “But baby, don’t get it twisted” I felt that. “Didn’t they tell you that I was a savage? Fuck your white horse and your carriage… You needed me.” Exactly! We’re good on our own and anyone in our lives is there because we chose them. Not because we need them. So as the song states, don’t get it twisted.” If we like you, we’ll have an amazing time together. But we’ll cut you off in a minute if you inconvenience us while wearing pearls, smoking a cigar, and enjoying the view, just like in the music video. We know who the prize is.
Pisces – “P.S. I’m Still Not Over You” (A Girl Like Me)
You are so lovable. You’re in tune with your emotions but it may come later and not at that exact moment. You hold a lot inside and express yourselves later. It’s probably through a text or in Rihanna’s case, a letter. That’s why “P.S. I’m Still Not Over You” embodies you. In this song, Rihanna talks to an ex about missing him via a heartfelt letter. “I know we haven’t spoken for a while. But I was thinkin’ ’bout you. And it kinda made me smile. So many things to say. And I’ll put ’em in a letter.” She asks how his little brother is doing. Thoughtful, just like you, Pisces. Then she gets sentimental stating that she can’t part with their photos. So, Pisces, stop hiding your feelings. They make you charming. Don’t wait until it’s too late and you’re stuck writing a letter (or text) full of regret.
Aries – “Breakin’ Dishes” (Good Girl Gone Bad) & “G4l” (Rated R)
You know what it is, Aries. You’ve never been known to turn down a confrontation or opportunity to let someone know where you stand. You’re a little rowdy too. So, you get these two songs. “Breakin’ Dishes” and “G4l.” Only true Rihanna fans will know about these. In “Breakin Dishes” Rihanna sings, “I’m breaking dishes up in here, all night. I ain’t gon’ stop until I see police lights. I’m a fight a man tonight.” Aries, you don’t care what is going on or who is involved. You’re kicking ass first and asking questions later, literally, and figuratively. “G4l” stands for gangster for life. “I lick the gun when I’m done ’cause I know that revenge is sweet…This is a gang, ladies’ thang. Baby bang, tell me what you need.” In this song, Rihanna is down to handle whatever needs to be handled. Sound familiar, Aries?
Taurus – “Yeah, I Said It” & “Close to You” (ANTI)
Taurus, I’ve said it before. Your sureness in yourself is undeniable. And your protective nature as your bull sign indicates is admirable. So, when I thought of you, I thought of what is undoubtedly Rihanna’s most unapologetic album, ANTI. I see the irony considering the album before it was titled Unapologetic. But still, this album was the epitome of that energy. The song “Yeah, I Said It” belongs to you because you have no qualms about what you say and how you say it. You stand by your opinions, and I respect that! It may make you a bit rigid but you’re an earth sign. Who else will keep us grounded if, not you?
“Close to You” speaks to your protective nature. When Rihanna sang that she’d stay, “so close if, they hurt you, wouldn’t find out” I felt love and protection. Taurus, you’re the sign that will love from afar and protect your loved ones but still be close enough to make sure they are safe. You’re subtle in your protective nature but that’s something that makes you exceptional.
Gemini – “Do Ya Thang” (Talk That Talk)
Gemini, you’re one of my faves. Do you know why? It’s because you’re the perfect mix of open-minded and fun. But you still have good sense. I like that combination. If you were around for Rihanna’s Talk That Talk album, you may recognize “Do Ya Thang.” This song is simply about a girl who accepts her partner for who he is. She doesn’t take him looking at other girls seriously. She loves him that way. “See, I know you like being ’round chicks and looking at hips, in a little outfit. What can I say? That’s what I love about you, babe. Yeah, I don’t ask, ’cause I know you gon’ lie. You’re way too sexy, to ever be shy…Do ya thang.”
You accept others for who they are without asking too many questions. You don’t take people and their issues too seriously either. You’re fluid like the air sign that you are. Why would looking at other girls bother you? He still chose you and will continue to. So, you let him get his look on. Gemini, there’s no sign like you. So do your thing.
Cancer – “Drunk On Love” (Talk That Talk)
You’re perhaps the most sensitive sign. You love to love. And you love to be loved. But you’re okay with it! And honestly, so are we. I feel that “Drunk On Love” is your song. You can feel the passion and emotion in this song. “I feel like I’m a hopeless romantic. I can’t help fallin’ in love. I fiend for love. I want it, I crave it…I wear my heart on my sleeve…I’m drunk on love. Nothing can sober me up.” You’re a hopeless romantic mixed with some drama. That’s you in a nutshell. And you know what? Who cares? That’s a beautiful trait. And anyone would be lucky to be loved passionately by you.
Leo – “Cockiness” (Talk That Talk)
Hello, Leo. Although this song is mixed with sexual innuendo, you shouldn’t let that distract you. This song is about your ego. You are a pillar of what it means to know your worth. Then you add tax. Once you get past the sexual lyrics you can hear that what Rihanna is exuding is unwavering assertiveness. She is self-assured in everything she has to offer and that’s certainly what you emit. “Make me your priority. There’s nothing above my pleasure.” A very Leo-ish statement to make, isn’t it?
Virgo – “Take a Bow” (Good Girl Gone Bad)
For lack of a better term, you don’t take anyone’s shit, Virgo. Once you see someone has ill intentions or their spirit doesn’t sit right with yours, you move on. That’s why I like “Take a Bow” for you. This song shows what happens when you get caught lying to a Virgo. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not. Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught.” There’s no coming back from that. “Grab your clothes and get gone. You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on.” You can be a silent savage but only when provoked. And that’s why no one can blame you for this attitude. So, you keep it up, Virgo. Don’t ever let anyone mess with you and if they do, they can take a bow and exit your life forever.
Libra –”Pon de Replay” (Music of the Sun)
Lucky you, Libra! You get matched with the song that catapulted Rihanna into the undeniable career that she has today! In a way, if it weren’t for you, there’d be no Rihanna! But seriously, you’re appreciated because you don’t take anything too seriously and you go with the flow. You can also be the life of the party if you choose to be. You have an entertaining yet calming presence. So why wouldn’t your song be the one that is demanding the DJ to turn the music up? People must be having fun on your watch and if they aren’t you’ll find a way to make it happen. You don’t even have to work hard to do it. Just know that you’re needed everywhere you go and don’t forget it.
Scorpio – “Red Lipstick” (Talk That Talk) “S&M” (Loud)
We’re all adults here, right? Good. So, I’ll just dive in. Scorpios are known to many as the sexiest sign. Your sex appeal and confidence are not lacking in any way. “Red Lipstick” and “S&M” match your sexy vibe. “Red Lipstick” and its adult-rated lyrics seem up your alley. There’s no need to go into too much detail. I’ll just leave that there for you to listen to your song, Scorpio. But on the other hand, the fun and upbeat “S&M” is self-explanatory. “I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don’t care. I love the smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones. But chains and whips excite me.” We hear you, Scorpio! That’s why you’re trouble, but the best kind.
Sagittarius – “Cheers” (Loud)
Last but never least. The party sign! We’d all love to be invited to the club with you, Sagittarius! You already know that you’re one of the fun signs. Nothing is quite that deep with you. But that’s why we love and need you. “Cheers to the freakin’ weekend. I’ll drink to that. Let the Jameson sink in…Don’t let the bastards get you down. Turn it around with another round. There’s a party at the bar. Everybody put ya glasses up, and I drink to that.” I’m pretty sure I’ve had one of you tell me this at some point in my life. So, the question is, what would we do without you? It’d be a bleak world. That’s for sure. Let’s drink to that!
That’s my take on zodiac signs as Rihanna songs! This task felt almost impossible considering she has eight albums and a long list of singles and features. There were just too many songs to narrow down. But even if you don’t agree with my assessment, this is as good a time as any to do a complete Rihanna album deep dive. From Music of the Sun in 2005 to ANTI eleven years later, the hits were back-to-back. I’m not even just talking about the radio hits. Yes, I understand we’re a little upset with her for making us wait this long for her ninth album. But with a repertoire like hers, she’s given us more than enough music to enjoy for years to come. And this list is solid proof that we all have a little Rihanna in us!
If you think there’s a song that better suits you, comment below! We’d love to hear your take!
Leave a Reply