This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s summer editorial intern Connor Hanrahan. Find him on Instagram at @hannerhansmh. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
The best way to ensure that you and your roommate get along is by living with your friends, but sometimes that’s not an option. At some point in their lives, most people bunk with a stranger, whether it be in college, after college, or later into adulthood and frequently these roommate scenarios fail because neither party put in enough research on who their roommate actually was as a person. This is a critical error because after a long day of work, if you aren’t looking forward to going home because you don’t want to see your roommate, you are going to grow tired of your living situation and want to look for another one. Home is supposed to be where the heart is and it’s supposed to be a peaceful environment where you can relax at the end of your day. Today we are going to discuss how to find a good roommate and which characteristics to look for in them and which to avoid.
The first thing to look for when choosing a roommate should always be personality. If you and your potential Roommate do not get along, it is never going to work out. I typically advise that one looks for a person who has a personality, not identical to their own, but complementary. For example, if you are a bit of a slob, but are willing to improve your cleanliness a bit and they are very clean, this doesn’t mean that it won’t work. All that matters is that they are patient and you work to accommodate their living requirements because the effort that you put in is what will matter to them. Reciprocation is key in all relationships in life, especially when you are living with someone. A lack of reciprocation can lead to the deterioration of any friendship, especially one you utilize every single day.
Humor, general attitude toward life, and political standing and enthusiasm are three other crucial personality traits to consider because if either of these don’t align, your differences can totally want your respect for one another. No far left liberal is going to want to live with a devout conservative, the same way somebody who doesn’t cuss is not going to want to interact with someone who speaks with excessive profanity.
We must also consider whether or not you feel like you would be friends with that person if you weren’t living together. If your senses of humor clash, or if you lead polar opposite social lives, this could lead to conflict. Let’s say that you like to throw parties and have friends over quite a bit and your roommate is a bit of a recluse or just isn’t very interested in social gatherings most of the time, your social habits could get on their nerves, and this could lead to friction between you two. I have had great luck with this in the past, but I know a lot of people who have not and almost always the social habits of the roommate cause a rift between them and the quieter one.
However, time factors like work schedule or hobby schedule can help alleviate a bit of this potential for conflict because rarely if you have opposing work schedules, will you be home at the same time.
Just like with reciprocation, one of the key ingredients to a functional social relationship is compromise. There is no such thing as the 100% perfect roommate. With every roommate you will ever have, much like a sibling, there will be a few key differences, but it is just important to make sure that the differences don’t play too big a role in your relationship.
For example, if cleanliness is imperative to you and your roommate is one of the dirtiest people you’ve ever met, and they are not willing to change their ways, your living situation is destined to be a failure. They might be a really nice person, but eventually their unwillingness to accommodate your needs will fracture your friendship and eventually one of you will want to move because of it. This doesn’t apply to cleanliness, this could also pertain to noise levels, TV use habits, bathroom habits, or even personality traits.
The most obvious aspect of choosing a roommate that we have to consider is their financial responsibility and habits. Nothing comes between two roommates more than the inability to pay rent or the utility bills. This is a guaranteed way to cause a fracture in your relationship and specifically your trust with your roommate. I am a large proponent of first and second chances to correct behavior, and I believe that all the previous aspects I have listed all deserve multiple chances for correction, but the very first time your roommate proves that they are financially inept Will immediately change your perception of them as a person. This should always be the first characteristic that you try to identify within a potential roommate.
There are some very useful tricks for identifying whether or not they are financially responsible. For example, whether or not they can keep a job for a long period of time. If they cannot be trusted as an employee, they probably are not reliable enough to be a good roommate. If they have credit card debt, they cannot be trusted to borrow money so they probably cannot be trusted to hold up their end of any compromises, you guys may make.
Similarly, a good way to distinguish how responsible and claim a potential roommate may be is by acknowledging the state of their car. Not necessarily the outside because plenty of good people are bad drivers, but by the interior. If there is trash strewn about the entire cab and it is clear that they do not respect the inside of their car, there is a solid chance that they are not going to respect the inside of your abode.
I guess, when it really comes down to it, choosing a roommate is about finding someone respectful. Respect for your living space and you as a person is what makes or breaks a roommate relationship.
As I said previously, finding a good roommate can be hard and finding one that respects your needs can be even harder, but it’s crucial that you don’t settle because the small things that you overlook will end up being the big differences that break your faith and respect for one another.
I hope this article helped you with your decisions and improved your view on which criteria to focus on for you personally. Did I miss anything that you feel is key in choosing a roommate? Let me know in the comments!
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