This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Ky Tanella. Find them on Instagram at @ky.tanella. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Self-love is shoved down our throats from the moment we become young adults, despite growing up learning to hate ourselves. Constantly comparing your face, your bod,y and your personality to online highlight reels or photoshopped magazine models that aren’t transparent about their reality.
A lot of us grew up with early access to the internet during a time when our little brains were so impressionable and easy to manipulate. Tumblr, Pinterest, and YouTube especially were huge culprits of the eating disorder culture that plagued 11-16-year-old me. If you managed to shield yourself from the “thinspo” era of Tumblr and Pinterest, you may have grown up reading magazines that criticized female celebrities for gaining weight or for not wearing any makeup. Even if you had little access to the internet, mean, fatphobic comments from your friends or even within your own home (from a feminine figure that grew up with a similar hate-yourself-diet-culture) may have eventually led to eating disorders or self-hatred. It’s everywhere, truly. From mean-spirited fat jokes in comedy movies to that snide comment one of your judgy friends makes about someone overeating at a restaurant.
What Is Body Neutrality?
Self-love isn’t just about weight. When I was 16, I started developing painful, cystic acne. I still struggle with adult acne even now, but back then, it was devastating. Why did my friends have clear skin? Why were every child actor or young model completely blemish-free? Alternatively, I started picking at the small details of my face and body. My nose, the shape of my eyebrows, my stretch marks, all of these “imperfections” that I soon grew to dislike due to bodies like mine being criticized. I thought: “How could I love myself?”
While self-love and body positivity are crucial, sustaining can be challenging and make you feel even worse when you’re just not feeling yourself. I know that jumping from this self-hatred to loving myself felt like an impossible switch, something that would take years to learn, if I could even achieve it!
Body neutrality is taking a “neutral” approach to appreciating parts of your body, how they already are, and how they function. Rather than attempting to always “love” ourselves, body neutrality is a more sustainable way to practice self-love and appreciation! Rather than just focusing on appearance, it can also focus on the gratitude or respect you can feel for what your body brings you, such as your health, functions, or unchangeable features! It’s a middle ground, a detachment from traditional beauty standards and just learning to like yourself, allowing yourself to focus on your well-being and inner self without all of the societal pressure.
The Body Positivity Movement
The “body positivity” movement can be linked back to the 1960s! The NAAFA (still alive today) was interested in advocating for the fat community through education and resources. In 1973, “The Fat Manifesto” was authored by a feminist group called The Fat Underground, which wanted to advocate for more change and equal treatment in society! Body positivity was and is all about accepting and loving all bodies, regardless of physical abilities, race, skin tone, sex, shape, or size!
While the body positivity movement is still very much alive and well today, cyberbullying and some current TikTok trends have slowed its development. At the same time, though, people are so much quicker to criticize fatphobia and these TikTok trends (such as the overconsumption of beauty products to fit an impossible beauty standard) nowadays, which is incredible. While celebrating different body types hasn’t necessarily hit mainstream (sadly), the criticism of beauty trends and the vocalization of body love has always been a step in the right direction. And quite frankly, has helped me in my journey of self-acceptance.
While “Thinspo” and “Fatspo” aren’t as relevant as they once were (though unfortunately still present on Twitter), society goes through phases of acceptance versus criticism.
Body positivity has been criticized for its knack for causing people to hide their true feelings about their body, so as not to seem negative. This can be especially hard for people living with eating disorders, as it can lead to someone feeling guilty for not loving themselves, and they may spiral deeper into depression. Since my eating disorder developed in 7th grade, I’ve still struggled with my relationship to food – I mean, adults don’t talk about that stuff like it’s cool (like we did back in middle school). It’s so hard to want to talk about my frustration when it seems like everyone around me is keeping it cool with food, so I’d shove it down to not “ruin the vibe.” If you feel like I did, I’d always recommend contacting a loved one or accessing the helpline databases for coping strategies.
Some other criticisms of the body positivity movement come from the lack of representation of people of color, disabled people, and the LGBTQ+ community. It can also be attempting to reach an unrealistic goal, and can be a division of “toxic positivity” that aims to shame people for their mindset or mental blockages. Some people have depression that actively prevents them from linear progress, and while the movement’s intentions are commendable, it can cause people to hide their true feelings. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with loving ourselves and our bodies, but the expectation that we feel constant happiness 24/7 for every part of ourselves is unrealistic and harmful!
The sad part is, we wouldn’t even need body positivity if we lived in a society that actively implemented love and acceptance for all bodies!
Implementing Body Neutrality
That’s where body neutrality comes in!
Anne Poirier makes some amazingly interesting points about body neutrality and intuitive eating, which allow her clients to create a healthier, balanced relationship with food and exercise. Neutrality isn’t about feeling “eh” about your body; it’s about prioritizing your body’s inner functions and what it does for you rather than just your appearance! It’s also about accepting the parts of yourself that cannot be changed, and the totality of the self (inner, outer, and spiritual)!
I put more effort into body neutrality when affirmations weren’t helping. They didn’t feel authentic, and it felt like I was just lying to myself in the beginning to force myself to feel something, anything positive about my body. The overwhelming feeling to feel “good” about everything was so harrowing, I just wanted to feel “fine” about it to start. I started not to entertain that hateful inner voice, rather than feeding into it with my false positivity – finding a healthy balance is essential for what works for you. However, if affirmations seem to call to you, start with some neutral affirmations!
Practicing mindfulness and staying off social media are significant parts of body neutrality. Calming your mind, practicing yoga, or walking when you feel particularly hateful can be a great way to neutralize that inner voice. I downloaded ScreenZen, which restricts my social media apps to just an hour a day, and it’s done wonders for my self-discovery and mindfulness.
Applying body neutrality can be hard at first. Still, it can be as easy as wearing clothes that make you feel comfortable, exercising for mental health, stepping away from diet culture, or just eating what you enjoy. Loving yourself is hard, so don’t shame yourself for not doing so. I wish you the best of luck on your mental health journey, and always remember that even one small step is a step in the right direction.
What is body neutrality? Have you tried to implement this practice into your life? Leave a comment down below if you know any tips or tricks!
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