Social media has been around long enough to alter our existence and how we operate and interact with one another. It has extended its grasp and grabbed hold of our minds, tightening its grip with every moment we spend on the platforms. Reshaping how we think and perceive the world. Forcing us to adapt to this new world and its evolving social order and practices. It has introduced us to new corners of the world and to people we would not otherwise have known.  

One of the newest additions to social media is the influencer. 

An influencer is a small celebrity of sorts. They typically cater to a specific audience or interest. They influence- where the title comes from-their viewers when it comes to products to purchase, places to go, lifestyle choices, and general mindset. And as social media grows, so do their platforms. They have become pivotal aspects of our social media experiences. Their job is to be relatable to their audience, to form what appears to be a genuine connection to their viewers, and establish a real presence on the platform. 

However, sometimes we confuse relatability with a real friendship. We see these individuals as people who understand us, who truly see us, and we begin to escalate what should stay as an online interaction to one we think is sincere. Such a thought process is what begins to establish a parasocial relationship with influencers.

But these people do not know us. They are not our friends, not really. While their social media presence can be beneficial and motivational to us, we must remember to draw the line between real and fake. 

Parasocial Relationships

A parasocial relationship is defined as “one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest, and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence.” In layman’s terms, one person is deeply invested in the relationship, and the other has no idea they’re even alive. 

And while this originally came to be with celebrities like Justin Bieber or Beyonce, it has only deepened to our core and communities as more platforms like Instagram and TikTok grow.

We all want to be understood. To feel empowered. We want to find community and know that there are people out there who enjoy the same niche things we do. And when we do, we hold onto that feeling of validation for dear life. The more social media is ingrained in our culture, the more separated we feel from those around us. So we turn to online personalities to feel a human connection. 

Our increased usage of these platforms, tied to the way influencers share their everyday lives and details of their personalities, only enhances this parasocial concept. We use their comment sections to have conversations with them. We stalk their profiles to get to know them better. We memorize their birthdays and their favorite colors as we would a real friend. In a survey of young adults aged 13-17, 95 percent reported that many of them use social media “almost constantly.” We have forgotten how to be real people; we have forgotten how to connect with others organically.

The Negatives

Social media already does not have the greatest reputation. Its adverse effects on users’ mental health have been extensively documented and reported. Individuals who suffer from mental health illnesses are more prone to use social media more than those who do not. 98 percent of young adults ages 13-18 diagnosed with various mental illnesses are on social media significantly. Those diagnosed with psychotic disorders, ages 12-21, 97 percent use social media. 

This is not to say that every social media user has a mental illness, but it is important to note who the majority of the demographic is. 

In general, social media is associated with increased anxiety, depression, a sense of loneliness, and poor sleep quality. It heightens comparison between young adults, escalates body image issues, and intensifies fear of missing out on experiences others are having, leading to a deep sense of unfulfillment. 

Social media is favorable because it “does not require necessary face-to-face communication…It may overcome deficits with social interaction due to psychotic symptoms that typically adversely affect face-to-face conversations.” While such a thing might be beneficial for those who struggle with communication and social skills in the real world, it becomes negative when interacting with those online. 

Because they do not possess the basics of social interaction, social media users blur the line between forming a friendship and what is actually a parasocial relationship with influencers. The already existing negative mental impacts of social media, and the new and growing worship we have for influencers, lead to a struggle to identify what a real connection with someone is. This artificial emotional connection and investment induce a dependency on the influencer and social media content in general. It can often replace real connections in their lives, having them think that this parasocial relationship they’ve created is enough, that it is substantial, and meeting their social interaction needs.  Emotional instability is deepened to a dangerous level. 

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Having relationships online and connecting with influencers does not have to be a completely harmful thing.

Social media is about unity, finding your community, and connecting with like-minded people. Shaming people for finding a celebrity or influencer who speaks to them is unnecessary and unwarranted; we all just want to feel seen. The issue is when we forget that we do not know these people, nor they us. We must remember to be grounded, to recognize when our admiration becomes something more sinister. And to ensure that we are taking care of our mental health and pouring into our tangible connections and social interactions.

Do you know someone who has a parasocial relationship? Let us know in the comments below!