Are you single and trying to get the attention of a special someone… but you have no idea how to initiate anything ever? I feel you. I am not necessarily the queen of initiation myself, BUT you don’t have to be super forward if you are sending a first text that’ll get their attention. There are tons of approaches to sending that first text, but three of my favorite include remembering something small and bringing it up via text, “accidentally” sending them a text meant for someone else, or telling them you’re thinking about them – which is for those of you feeling a little extra bold. Need to know what to text a guy to start a conversation? Or a girl? If you’re ready to make that impression and get them thinking about you, keep on reading. You may just be a text away from your next relationship!
Approach #1: Remember something small and bring it up…
- A: *send photo* “I think this would be a great addition to your ___ collection!”
This text not only lets them know you’re listening to them when they tell you even little details, it also shows that you’re thinking about them enough that seeing something small would remind you of them. If I got this text from my crush, instant butterflies would happen. It’d make me excited to see they care even about those minute details and that you understand their sense of style, personality, etc.
- B: “(x group) is your favorite band, right? I just found this album on vinyl! Want me to pick it up for you?
Similar vibes to the first text option, but this one takes it a step further. One, I don’t know about you but having similar music tastes or even just liking the other person’s music taste can make a relationship that much better and more exciting. So, not only would this text let them know you listened to what their favorite band is, it also shows that you respect that music choice, and it shows that you were thinking about them while you were out. Oh yeah, and that step further? That comes with the third sentence… “Want me to pick it up for you?” First off, this sets up an un-awkward meeting proposal, without the pressure of asking them out on a date or whatever right off the bat… maybe seeing them will be that opportunity to ask them out, who knows? Just don’t take this first text option for granted.
- C: “How was your sister’s soccer game this weekend?”
It’s easy to remember what your crush has going on in their lives, especially the surface-level stuff that we often think about talking about. However, not everyone will remember details about your crush’s loved ones. Someone that’ll get their attention though, definitely would. Maybe they mentioned something like attending their sister’s soccer game, or helping their mom out with prepping for a bake sale, or working on a project with their dad, whatever it is. Remember these details about your crush and you’re sure to make an impression on them.
Approach #2: “Accidentally” send a text meant for someone else…
- A: “What are we doing this weekend?” “Oops, that was supposed to be for my bestie! But we can do something this weekend if you want to :)”
Most people have their weekends relatively free, so opening up the whole two days gives you a good chance of hanging out with whoever you’re texting. Also, I feel like this is the most subtle and sweet way of sort-of asking someone out. If they say they aren’t free, no harm, no foul. You didn’t mean to text them in the first place, wink, wink. BUT if this person wants to hang out with you, they will snatch up this opportunity if they can, and if they can’t, maybe they’ll open up the option of hanging out another time. You’re just opening that door up for them!
- B: (sends photos) “Which dress(/shirt/ whatever) do you think looks best?” “Oops, wrong person! But I’d still love your opinion…”
Depending on how bold and saucy you’re feeling, sending photos to your crush is a great way to “accidentally” be a little flirty. Also, by asking their opinion once realizing that you sent the text to the wrong person, you’re getting their honest take on how you look, and it’s giving them a very easy opportunity to gas you up, because they were probably thinking about how great you look all this time anyway!
- C: “Everyone’s bringing a date and I have no clue who to invite, what do I dooo?” “Oops, sorry! That was for someone else, but if you’re free, you should come with me to the party?”
This one might be a little bit easier to see through, but if it works, you’ve successfully subtly asked your crush on a date, and if it doesn’t, I’m sure they’d at least admire your confidence… All in these two texts, you’re expressing your availability, interest, and the fact that you’re thinking about them, while still not being all that obvious. It’s the golden formula.
Approach #3: Tell them you’re thinking about them…not so subtly
- A: “I just had the craziest dream with you in it…”
Dreams can mean a lot, but how would you know that? You just woke up and thought, how funny would it be to text so and so that they were in my dream. You’ll have your crush wondering what you dreamt about if you don’t actually share your story with them. I also guarantee they’ll at least be thinking about you all day, and who knows, that might make them dream about you! This text will for sure get their attention!
- B: “Did I just see you in ___, or am I just thinking about you too much?”
Wherever you frequent, ask your crush if you just saw them there, even if you definitely didn’t. Even if you just ask them that, this’ll show that they’re on your mind in a subtle way. But if you’re going for the bold, and not-so-subtle, attach that second half of the question, the “or am I just thinking about you too much?” is brave and honest, but also really playful, flirty, and fun. With this whole sentence, your crush will definitely be thinking about you. Consider attention grabbed.
- C: “God, why do I keep picturing you (insert flirty/ sexy scenario here)”
This is by far the most bold text on this list, but it’s a great one if you’re feeling brave. It will for sure get your crush’s attention… but it might also get your crush on their way over to your place for a little fun, so just understand the weight this message might hold. Though, whether you went for a more cute and flirty scenario over a sexy one, they’ll get the idea that you’re thinking of them in a way that you aren’t already related to one another. If you want to hold onto their attention for a whole week, maybe even a month with a single text message, this one is a great jumping off point for some really bold responses.
Do you ever text your crush first? Need help figuring out what to text a guy to start a conversation? Or a girl? Would you send one of these messages? Let us know in the comments!