Dating, Relationships

Am I Ready To Date? Here Are 5 Surefire Signs That You’re Not


So, you’re in the dating game? Or maybe trying to get into it? Before you get too deep into the swiping, it’s important to make sure you’re ready to be out there! Whether you’re seeking something serious or not, there may be other factors pointing to a need to focus on yourself instead of dating. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be out there living your best life, but evaluating and navigating dating carefully can help you determine if you’re even ready to be doing it. When being intentional with choices like this, hard feelings may be spared in the long run, and more meaningful relationships have a solid place to grow. So, if you’re wondering “Am I ready to date?”, read along. Maybe it’s time to give yourself some love instead. Here are 5 signs that you may not be ready to date.

Your Ex is Still On Your Mind

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Let’s get this obvious one out of the way. Maybe you’re re-entering the dating game after a breakup or the end of a situation-ship. If you really feel like you’ve moved on, great! You might be ready to go get back out there. However, if you find yourself constantly thinking about your ex, stalking their socials, or even dreaming about them may indicate that you aren’t all that ready to get back out there. While it’s hard to block out big feelings, and it’s even harder to retrain your mind not to be always concerned with what they’re up to and how they’re doing, if you’re thinking about dating while still thinking about your ex constantly, chances are someone might get hurt. You probably don’t want to lead anyone on while thinking about someone else, and it also can’t be great trying to push the thought of your ex away while on a date. You can avoid this all by finding distractions that are healthier and help work toward making yourself more independent and confident, whatever it may be! Getting over someone you cared a lot about can take time— serious time. Don’t let dating culture convince you to get under someone to try to get over your ex.

You Can’t Escape Your Insecurities

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Even if you’re over prior lovers, getting over your insecurities is another massive hurdle that often needs confronting before getting into dating. If you’re putting yourself out there and you’re insecure, you probably won’t be putting out your authentic self to find your best potential partners. Alternatively, you may be setting yourself up for hurt, disrespect, etc. If you aren’t as confident as you know you are inside and you’re letting your insecurities control you, you probably shouldn’t be trying to date until you let that badass version of you out. Doing some self love, body positivity, and putting yourself out there in other (and less emotionally intense) ways are all great for taking steps toward being confident and ready to conquer the dating world.

You’re a Busy Bee

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So, you’re lonely and trying to date, but your schedule is so busy that you can barely breathe? Maybe you should evaluate your priorities and see if dating really fits into your schedule. If you have too many priorities that line up over dating, you may want to consider waiting until you have the time to get out there. Dating can be hard work, and often requires a good amount of time out of already busy schedules. It also isn’t something you want to be half-assed with. If you already feel like a busy buzzing bee, you may not want to overwhelm yourself with dating as well. Foresee your schedules clearing sometime soon? Great! That may be the perfect time for you to get out there if not now.

You Have Fantasy-Level Expectations

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Honestly, many will tell you that entering dating without any expectations is the way to go. However, I don’t think you should lower your standards to a certain extent. While everyone deserves an amazing love, we shouldn’t expect our partner to be Prince Charming. No one is perfect, and if you’re way too picky with dating, that may be a sign that you aren’t ready to put yourself out there. Alternatively, if you start feeling the need to change partners so they accommodate your expectations, that also can indicate you aren’t quite ready to get out there. So, if your list of « requirements » or « expectations » for potential partners includes stuff like being 6’5, earning six figures, being ultra-fit, popular, etc… you may need to spend some time evaluating what is important to you and working on shifting mindsets in that direction before jumping out there looking for our « perfect » person based on surface-level observations.

You’re Expecting Big Changes

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Big changes in your life are exciting and normal! However, they might not be the best time to also try to be pursuing new relationships. Focusing on yourself and what you need in these times of change can help nourish your spirit and set yourself up for success no matter the situation. Additionally, you won’t have to put a new or potential partner through the major changes with you. Who knows, maybe this big change will impact you as a person quite a bit, including who you’d potentially end up with. Regardless of if you’re moving, expecting a child, switching careers, going back to school, finally breaking into your hobby or passion… that may be a sign to wait a little while to date, until the transitions have been made and you’re settled into your « new » life.

Any other advice for those confronting the world of dating? Have you been asking “Am I ready to date?” Let us know in the comments!

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