This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Fainite Auguste. Find her on Instagram at @ceilingdancing. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Relationships have their ups and downs, but what happens when the relationship simply loses the spark? People have dubbed this the “roommate stage.”
What is the Roommate Stage?
The roommate stage is when a couple loses the emotional and physical intimacy in a relationship because of repetitive actions. The roommate stage occurs in a relationship when people get too busy with their separate lives and stop taking the time to go on dates or adventures. Any relationship after any amount of time can fall into the roommate stage. However; it’s more likely to happen to couples who live together.
Yes, moving in with one another is an important step in a relationship and is cost-effective, but sometimes things fizzle out a little when sharing a space for a while. When two people live together the mystery disappears. There is no hiding whether someone is messy, if they wash the dishes, or put away laundry immediately after doing it.
How to Notice if You’re in the Roommate Stage
Well first make sure that there isn’t another issue going on. The roommate stage is not the same thing as constant arguing with your partner or complete disinterest in your significant other.
You may be in the roommate stage if there’s been a lack of intimacy or feeling more like friends than a couple. As well as intimacy the relationship needs romance, even after being together for years romance is still important. Another sign is there’s a lack of deep conversations. There needs to be a little more than a summary of your day.
When was the last time you expressed appreciation for your partner? If it’s been longer than a week or several weeks then you may need to check in with your partner.
How to Get Out of it
It’s simple, A relationship needs attention. Plan things out for and with your partner.
Date Nights should be fun, it doesn’t have to be expensive 5-star restaurants, it can be as simple as starting a new movie or TV show and can Infuse excitement into a couple’s lives. Cooking with each other allows a couple to learn a different form of communication. I often use cooking to express my feelings for my partner.
Sitting at a table and drawing next to each other is a fun activity. Couples on TikTok have been posting videos painting each other’s portraits. Even if your painting skills aren’t the best it is still worth trying. However, going outside and physically doing a new activity can also make the relationship itself feel adventurous and exciting. Quality time is extremely important. It also creates new memories in the relationship.
Take the time to cuddle or touch each other, in whatever form you and your partner are comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to flirt every now and then. Complimenting your partner’s appearance is an easy way to express your attraction.
Discuss the future of romantic getaways, even if it’s a little out of reach. It will show that your partner you see a future with them. It builds intimacy and keeps the spark alive in a relationship.
Take a moment to express genuine appreciation for your partner’s hobbies. Embrace the things that make them who they are. If they make art, ask to see what they’re working on. Take time and listen. Show that you are still interested after all this time.
Try these suggestions out and see the difference that it makes. Consistency and communication is key. Keep working toward the intimacy that you can your partner want. Let us know how it changes your relationship!
So, what is the roommate phase of a relationship? Can these changes help? Let us know what you think!
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