This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Alexandrea Ciardella. Find her on Instagram at @a6ysma1. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
In the last few months, “The Bird Test” has been growing increasingly popular online. But what is it exactly? It sounds like something you would use while bird watching or reserved specifically for ornithologists (people who study birds). The bird test is a way to gauge your relationship and your partner’s interest in your well-being. People have been employing this test in their relationships to see how their relationship stands.
Here’s how it the bird test works; when you and your partner are alone together, look for a bird (any bird will do). Point out the bird to your partner and try to draw their attention to it and say: “Look at how pretty that bird is!” or anything similar. Then, watch your partner’s reaction and their actions next. The bird test doesn’t have to be specifically about a bird; it can be about anything seemingly insignificant that you get excited about. Finishing a book you’ve been reading for weeks, what you ate for lunch that day, finding a penny on the ground. The point of the test is to see how your partner reacts to your interaction; if they show interest or engage with you, it’s a good sign that your relationship is healthy. But if your partner ignores your excitement, or worse, gets angry at you, it could be a sign that your relationship is headed for trouble.
In psychology, the bird test and all other iterations are more commonly referred to as “bids”. Bids are a request to connect, a subtle way to get closer to your partner without outright saying so. These bids can be done voluntarily or involuntarily in relationships; you’ve probably performed a bid towards your partner today without even realizing it. They show that you care about your partner’s well-being, even if it doesn’t benefit your interests. Both partners interacting and accepting bids is a clear indicator that the relationship will last.
However, don’t be disheartened if the bird test doesn’t work the first time. Your partner may be distracted or busy, making it difficult for them to engage with you. Try the bird test multiple times over a few days at different times of the day. And don’t immediately go to break up if none of the tests work! It could be that your partner is going through a rough time, or they just don’t notice your bids. They may even prefer non-verbal bids over verbal ones. Talk it out with your partner so that both of you can be on the same page.
Make sure you’re mindful of your partner’s bids as well! Relationships are a two-way street. Be aware when they ask you for help, want to talk about their day, or hug you. Bids should be done daily for a healthy relationship and shouldn’t be reserved just for special occasions.
Have you ever used the bird test in your relationship? Let us know in the comments below!
Leave a Reply