This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s spring editorial intern Ian Ferdock. Find him on Instagram at @ianferdock. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
Any guy who has a girlfriend knows the rigors of her shower routine. Every girl who has a boyfriend probably knows his lack thereof. The stark contrast between men’s and women’s shower routines has become a running internet joke, but what does it actually say about our approach to self-care, beauty standards, and even gender expectations? While women often view showers as a self-care ritual, men tend to see them as a functional necessity. However, as Zillennial men’s self-care routines have become a popular internet trend, are they catching up with their female counterparts?
Before I wrote this article, I already knew that my girlfriend’s shower routine was extensive. And I mean really extensive. But, to do some proper research I asked for an itemized list of all her products and steps associated with what she terms her “everything shower”. Much to her surprise, I have no such concept in my bathing routine. I probably pay more attention when washing my car than myself. Meanwhile, she’s over here double shampooing, exfoliating, and using 3 different body washes and face washes.
Women’s Shower Routine
From what I have seen in my life, as well as what I’ve observed on the internet, there is a ton of differentiation between women’s shower routines. That makes sense because everyone has different skin types, hair types, and just overall preferences. However, there are some common modalities.
The most pronounced aspect of female shower routines I have noticed is that there is a specific product for every step. Sometimes there are even multiple products for every step. Only a fool would shampoo once; who would have thought? Beyond that there are regular conditioners as well as deep conditioning masks. There are physical exfoliants and chemical exfoliants for your face and body. Through all these steps, no nook and cranny goes untouched.
Beyond what takes place during the actual shower, the post-shower routine is vitally important too. Many women use multiple products on their face and their body to achieve their desired level of perfection. From serums to toners the possibilities are endless. Furthermore, products can depend on the season. Winter months can create dry skin so of course there are products geared toward extensive moisturization. Conversely, the heat of summer months can create excessive sweat so there are products to combat that too. My girlfriend takes at least 30 minutes for her everything shower, but you must add another 30 for all that comes after. Plus, if she’s doing her hair after you may as well forget it because that takes basically a lifetime.
Men’s Shower Routine
My own, as well as many other men’s, shower routines certainly take a different approach. Personally, I think I am somewhere in between. I am not a complete animal, but I certainly don’t go to the lengths of my girlfriend.
I shampoo once, only ever once. Sometimes I condition, sometimes not, and it never sits for more than a minute or two. It usually just depends on how lazy or tired I am feeling. I use the products my hairdresser tells me to. I wash my face with whatever my girlfriend tells me to use. Genuinely, the only product I actually selected for myself is my bar of soap. One day I saw Dr. Squatch on Instagram and I’ve used it ever since. I start with my armpits and soap my chest, arms, and unmentionables thoroughly, and just kind of graze the rest. I do however use a soap that has exfoliants in it so that has to count for something. Much to my girlfriend’s horror, I couldn’t tell you the last time I washed my feet. Standing in soapy water counts, right?
I have a mild post-shower routine that includes the same Aveeno face lotion and body lotion I’ve used since I was like 5. Oh, and can’t forget the Olaplex serum to keep the flow looking healthy. For me, that’s all there is. The shower itself takes me 5 to 10 minutes, and the post shower routine only about 3. For a lot of other men, it may be even less or sometimes a bit more.
The Great Divide: Why Are They So Different?
I would wager that the biggest reason for this shower discrepancy between men and women is that there is a whole industry that’s been around for decades, if not centuries, telling women what products to use. The central goal of the marketing for women’s beauty products revolves around adding one more step, just another product to reach perfection. Meanwhile, most men’s products rely on a vastly different approach. Our products always claim to reduce steps or make things easier. Most of what we get is 2-in-1 or even 3-in-1 products.
Even outside of traditional branding, society has conditioned women to believe that they must take every possible measure to live up to social standards. Conversely, men just kind of have to show up. That is problematic for several reasons, but the point is men usually don’t have the same type of guidance when it comes to self-care.
Women grow up with extensive beauty standards, even from a very young age. Toys like Barbies are founded on the ideas of beauty and fashion standards. There isn’t a comparable situation for men. All we think about is making sure we don’t stink and that’s about it.
Guys, Go Wash Your Feet
While traditionally men suck at self-care, that is changing. Toxic masculinity generally refers to social behaviors, but it has started incorporating how men approach self-care. Most men’s self-care routines are non-existent. However, social media trends are encouraging men to evolve. As Zillennials are striving to create a positive version of masculinity, self-care is a central component.
Apparently, standing in soapy water doesn’t actually count as washing your feet. So, guys, it’s time to step up. Use a real shampoo and conditioner, wash your feet, and try moisturizing. Go crazy and exfoliate or use a toner. Taking the time through simple acts like showering properly to take better care of yourself is worthwhile. I’m not the perfect example, but my girlfriend has pushed me to form an improved self-care routine. However, you don’t need a girlfriend or boyfriend to make positive changes. Ultimately, your self-care routine is about doing something for yourself. All the time my girlfriend tells me that she doesn’t wear make-up or do all the steps of her “everything shower” to make me or anyone else more attracted to her. Instead, she does all those things because it makes her feel better about herself. That’s the whole point of self-care.
The idea of empowerment usually relates to women, but sometimes men need to feel empowered in positive ways too. By investing more time in self-care, men can feel empowered to project a more positive version of themselves that demonstrates they care about taking care of themselves. This leads to a higher level of self-confidence which can improve many aspects of your life.
Let us know in the comments below what steps are central to your self-care routine!
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