Here’s What To Talk About Before Marriage Or Engagement
Just this past summer, my boyfriend and I got engaged! After almost five years of dating, he popped the question and made me a very happy girlfriend… wait, fiancé! We’re so ready to get married, but some people might give us the side eye because we’re pretty young for marriage. We met at 16, and now we’re both 21. But the idea of marriage didn’t come without long and deep conversations about our future goals and plans. Wondering what to talk about before marriage? These 5 topics should be at the top of your list.
The very last thing you want is to argue about money. Before you tie the knot, you should be on the exact same page about how your money is going to be combined, put toward bills and used. Will you be combining your bank accounts into one or just have joint checking accounts? Who is going to be in charge of what bills? If one of you makes more than the other, will you be splitting everything 50/50 or will it depend on what you make? Who will be the one to keep on top of all of the bills? Money is truly the root of all evil, and you do not want it to come between you and your loved one. Ask all of the questions and make sure you’re on the same page so you’re not surprised later.
What will your future family look like? Are you wanting to be the fun aunt and uncle with a dog who travels the world? Do you want eight kids? These are things that need to be discussed before you get married or engaged. If you want something and your partner wants something completely different, there are going to be huge issues later. Do NOT think this is something that you can convince them of later. If someone does or doesn’t want kids, that’s a personal decision and you should not try to coerce them into what you want. Start on the same page so you can write the perfect family fairytale together.
I won’t get too church lady on you, I promise, but this is important. If you have very different religious views, it can lead to big issues later in your relationship. I’m not saying every single couple has to have the EXACT same beliefs, but you’ll want to focus on the future with this one. If you’re religious and your partner isn’t, will they be OK with you taking your potential children to church? If they won’t be OK with that, you may want to consider the relationship long-term. Just like with having kids, you should never try to force your beliefs on someone.
Career Paths/Life Goals
Do you want to continue living in your hometown or are you ready to hit the road? Does your career involve a lot of traveling? If one person wants to buy a house and the other wants to travel the world in a trailer, you’ll have issues. Before a big commitment like a marriage, you need to have the life talk. Where do you see yourself in five years and is that where I also want to be? You’ll also both need to realize that you will no longer be a lone wanderer. Every decision you make here on out will have a major impact on another person. Are you ready for that?
The Divorce Talk
What does this commitment mean to you and how fragile is it? I, personally, never want to get a divorce. Obviously, I don’t care what other people do and sometimes they’re absolutely necessary, but I wanted to set my fiancé up for a lifetime commitment. You should always have this talk with your partner, to see what marriage means to them and how lightly they take divorce. After a few fights, will you be ready to hit the road? If that’s the case, why are we even getting married? Are we getting married because we want to or because we feel we have to? Is this a decision we are making for the right reason? If you are only getting married because of societal pressure or because of family obligation — you might run into some bumps… or ends. Tell your partner exactly why you’re marrying them and be absolutely honest. Was it just “the right thing to do?” Or are you marrying them to be with them for the rest of your life, til death do us part?
Ever wonder what to talk about before marriage? I hope this article helped you come up with some important conversations! Let us know in the comments below if you have any other suggestions!