“So Much For Summer Love”: Getting Augusted And How To Deal With Unrequited Love
This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s fall editorial intern Lauren Sanchez. Find her on Instagram at @lauren.sanchezz. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at email@example.com.
It’s the season of “salt air,” lost memories and canceled plans for us Taylor Swift fans. Despite it being a few weeks into the month, Swifties began celebrating the month by listening to Swift’s “August.” Even after the song was released over two years ago, the song remains a special place in the hearts of hopeless romantics and those who “live for the hope of it all.”
Flash forward a few years later after Swift’s album “Folklore” was dropped, hashtags like #SaltAir and #GettingAugusted are currently trending today on TikTok. These users who post with these hashtags are sharing their stories about failed romances and unrequited love, and comparing themselves to Augustine, the perspective of the girl that “August” is written about.
For those who aren’t dedicated Swifties and want to learn some “Folklore” trivia, Swift created three songs to tell the story of a love triangle using the characters Betty, James and Augustine. Through the song lyrics of “Betty,” “Cardigan” and “August,” we find out the details of James and Betty’s relationship, and Augustine and James’ summer love. Yet after realizing Betty is the one James wants, he drops Augustine to pursue Betty, leaving Augustine completely heartbroken.
For the girls who consider themselves to be more of an Augustine than a Betty, I feel for you! To sum it up, “August” is for the girls who crave feelings of nostalgia. The girls who believe in second chances, who get led on for months to only be forgotten about on a random Wednesday and for those who fall in love too hard and too quickly. I am no stranger to any of those things listed and I undeniably see myself in Swift’s “August” — especially when it comes to investing your time and heart into a person who you know can’t give you the same amount of love in return.
Dealing with the aftermath of a failed romance, or “getting Augusted,” can be extremely difficult and while there may not be a medical cure for heartbreak, there are some steps you can take to heal your own heart and mind, and begin the process of moving on.
Acceptance Of The Situation And Learning To Grow
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We as humans have a desire to be loved whether that’s platonic or romantic and when that love is not reciprocated in the way we would like, we feel hopeless, unworthy and unlovable. As much as we’d love to forget the memories and the quirks that made falling in love with them so easy, accepting that the relationship or the potential of one didn’t work out is one of the first parts of the healing process.
No one likes admitting to failure, and no one wants to admit that their relationship or love didn’t work out. But as cheesy and corny as it sounds, failure is a huge part of healing and growth. Learning from what didn’t work, the mistakes you made or the lessons you’ve gained is all a part of the process and forces you to realize that not everything is meant to work out. And that is COMPLETELY okay.
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Just because you’ve accepted that this love didn’t succeed doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world, even when it may feel like it is at the time. Through this acceptance comes a time to learn about self-love and putting yourself first, your personal needs and wants for a future relationship and gives you the chance to become a stronger and emotionally mature person.
Give Yourself Time and Treat Yourself With Kindness
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Giving yourself the time and space you need to understand and process the situation is incredibly beneficial. While being alone and doing things by yourself may not seem ideal to you in this current situation, the process of healing ultimately boils down to just you and it’s important to take care of yourself both mentally and physically.
I’m not going to sit here and pretend that doing things alone is not scary, it is! Buying a movie ticket for one or sitting down at a restaurant for a party of just you can be so intimidating and uncomfortable, especially if you love social interaction. But sometimes taking yourself on a solo date is necessary and shows you that you are capable of doing things by yourself.
Turning your canceled plans into your own plans allows you to prioritize the things that make you feel the happiest. Having the “treat yourself” mentality and owing it to yourself to be kind to yourself is a huge step towards healing. So treat yourself to a nice meal, buy yourself some flowers, and focus on the things that make you feel loved! And if you need a little boost to help you, check out this list of solo date ideas on Instagram that will hopefully inspire you to try one out and read our article on activities that help practice self-love.
Allow Yourself To Feel, But Don’t Let It Consume You
Part of the acceptance is allowing yourself to be sad. It is completely normal and valid to be upset that this love didn’t work out in the way that you wanted it. You are valid in all the emotions you want to feel. You can feel sad, angry, humiliated, grief-stricken, regretful… the list goes on and on.
Whether you want to cry, scream, throw your pillow across the room or stare at the wall in silence, just know that it is therapeutic to release everything that you have been feeling and that it is not healthy to bottle it up all the time.
And while it’s healthy to let all these feelings out, it is also not healthy to let those feelings consume you entirely. A whole part of this healing process is to allow yourself to move on and not dwell on the things you wish you could’ve been or the things you wish you would’ve said or done.
It’s important to give yourself the space to process and feel these emotions, and hopefully as the days go on, you will feel a little less heartbreak and sadness each time. Maybe even to the point where you’ll be blasting “I Forgot That You Existed” by Taylor Swift on repeat for weeks!
“It Feels Like A Perfect Night To Dress Up Like Hipsters And Make Fun Of Our Exes”: How Friendship Can Help Heal Too!
Right next to family, our friends take up a huge part of our hearts. Most of the time, your friends will be your go-to people when it comes to drama, hanging out, dealing with problems that your family might not be able to handle and giving out some of the best advice to help with any struggles you may come across.
Good friends will always be there for you, no matter what. And when you’re going through heartbreak and dealing with relationship issues, your friends can help be your greatest distractions for they will do anything to help make you smile.
A brunch with the girls, a therapeutic shopping haul at the mall or even a late-night movie night and ice cream run will help you realize that you don’t necessarily need romantic love to feel love. Sometimes the best kind of love is the one you get from your friends, and if you’re like me and have some of the best friends in the world, you’ll know that the love from your friends is a love like no other.
Be Like Taylor: Get A Journal, Write Everything You Feel & Turn It Into A Song
Perhaps by buying a journal and writing all the thoughts inside your head, you too could be a songwriter like Swift and write the most tragic and heartbreaking love story of all time. Who knows, maybe through channeling your inner Swift, you could write a song that out beats the sadness of “All Too Well.”
However, for those who aren’t so musically gifted and don’t consider themselves to be songwriters, it is still so therapeutic to get all your thoughts and feelings out on paper. Not only do you get to put down how you feel, but you get to see and find the words that help you understand your emotions.
Journaling can be incredibly helpful and allow you to track the progress and growth you are making without even necessarily realizing it, so I would definitely recommend giving it a chance!
Enter Your “Reputation” Era And Start Build Your Self-Confidence
When I first listened to Swift’s “Reputation,” I could feel the self-confidence and the high level of badassery that comes with the album. While some songs may not necessarily apply to unrequited love and being a second choice to love, the themes of revamping yourself and embracing your self-confidence are extremely prevalent in this album.
On TikTok, girls have been frequently posting about “entering their rep era” and how this era is all about putting yourself first, treating yourself better and not letting a heartbreak or anyone tear you down.
Being able to rely on yourself helps you grow your confidence and allows you to mend the pieces of your heart together in a way that only you know how. It’s self-empowering and helps you process the growth that you have worked so hard to achieve. So when I say I’m in my “rep era”, just know that it’s an era dedicated to self-love and working on myself.
While I am not a licensed therapist and do not know how to professionally deal with the effects of heartbreak, I am a 20-year-old swiftie who understands the ups and downs of love and what it feels like to be an Augustine in a world full of Bettys.
Healing from heartbreak is a process that takes time, and listening to Taylor Swift’s “August” helps people like me feel seen, and shows me that I am not the only one who has experienced something as heartbreaking as unrequited love. So for the girls who are #GettingAugusted and see themselves in Augustine, I hope that you know that you are not alone and that this heartbreak is only temporary. Here’s to dealing with the journey of healing and self-love together!
Have you dealt with getting Augusted this summer? What ways have you managed dealing with unrequited love? Do you see parts of yourself in Taylor Swift’s “August”? Let us know in the comments below!