This article was written by The Zillennial Zine’s senior fall editorial intern Dalal Daher. Find her on Instagram at @dalalllldaher. If you would like to share an article with The Zillennial, send us an email at thezillennialzine@gmail.com.
To be a woman in a man’s world… plenty of movies, books, and songs have detailed the double standards women face in life and love. It’s no secret that in the trenches of modern dating, riddled with ghosting, situationships, and hookup culture, these double standards persist for women. The same actions, good or bad, are filtered through a lens of ‘purity’ or thinly veiled sexism. But what if as a woman you want to be the one sending that “wyd” text at 2 AM with the same impunity you would as a fuckboy (free of any ‘for the streets’ allegations), ask a man when he’s planning on putting his career on hold to start his family, or maybe bemoan your male partner’s body count while simultaneously avoiding any discussion of your own.
This double standard is humorously highlighted in the viral social media “women in male fields” trend, where women will post a story from their dating life but reverse the gender roles and hashtag it “women in male fields.” This trend consists of women putting the emotionally immature and hurtful things romantic male partners have done to them on display, with the women adopting the ‘male fields’ of minimum emotional effort, in a post that both calls out men with those habits and provides a space for women to feel validated about their experiences.
The #womeninmalefields trend is based on individual anecdotes from modern dating culture, with common themes including dismissing female emotions and pain, disregarding female professional accomplishments for family aspirations, and general emotional laziness. By acting like they’re the ones actually engaging in these often emotionally neglectful activities, the women in this trend are effectively earmarking where they think their male romantic peers are at- and it’s not looking good at all.
The most interesting thing about this trend to me is how the women in male fields trend hinges on detailed and personal stories, yet have such a relatable basis that it’s reached widespread virality. Anecdotes of women detailing how their male partners would hear them crying in bed and brush it off, disregard their pain so that they could receive oral sex, and get defensive when confronted over boundaries are often posted in hyperspecific detail yet receive hundreds of thousands of likes.
The fact that so many women can relate to one’s story of emotionally lazy or sexist romantic partners shows that the women in male fields trend goes beyond a funny slew of videos, but actually proves a trend that most women know to be personally true. While not all men in the dating pool are bad, many of them come with mindsets that belittle women’s professional accomplishments, push emotional labor onto them, and get defensive, aggressive, or dismissive when emotional conversations and boundaries are discussed.
The women in male fields trends also provides, from the collective voices of thousands of women, a common female perspective on why Gen Z dating is defined by loneliness. While not all men fall into the toxic behavior patterns exposed in this trend, these widespread male dating attitudes, or male fields, are part of the deeper disconnect between many Gen Z men and women. The widening ideological divide between Gen Z men and women, including the fact that 43% of men identify as feminists and 61% of women do, is putting a strain on our relationship growth and compatibility.
Despite the undertone of humor, the common theme among the women in male fields trend is being mistreated in a relationship, and the frustration that accompanies it. In a political landscape where female reproductive healthcare is being rolled back and radical feminist movements like 4B reach the mainstream, women’s anger and frustration at the current dating landscape is more than a fad. The women in male fields trend simply re-emphasizes the skills many women feel are lacking in the dating pool right now: emotional validation, clear communication, empathy, and perception of women as actual people.
So the next time someone asks about the male loneliness epidemic with regards to dating? Tell them to refer to the women in male fields trend. If your dating behavior unironically matches those detailed in the trend, man or woman, it might be time for some self-reflection.
Have you seen the women in male fields trend? What do you think about it? Let us know in the comments below!
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